Pet Peeve: Falling asleep after sex (but the rest of it was good)

Yesterday I started chatting with someone I’ll call Geek Guy about, well, fantasies, sex. He had one of the ubiquitous shirtless/headless pics on OKC and I usually assume those guys are looking for what I’m looking for, so I’m the one who actually messages with them. When he showed me his face pics after a bit of good chatting, I realized I’d seen him on apps before and had gone back and forth on matching with him, and decided not to. But since were talking…he squeaked in as someone I’d consider. It’s not that he’s unattractive, he’s just not by type necessarily. But it turned out that he seemed nice, intelligent, normal, and kinky, so I figured I was up for meeting and we agreed on today during the day.

We met at the bar close to me and when I walked in, he was at the bar (almost no one was there) and it was…awkward. He was sort of watching the tv and didn’t seem interested in talking. Granted, I had spent all of 5 min getting ready, so I did feel like maybe he wasn’t into me, and I hadn’t decided if I was into him…

But then conversation started clicking and got better. And I decided he was a really nice guy, probably a little shy, and certainly attractive enough to fuck. So, we headed back to my place and it was very good sex, with room for improvement. I did have some great orgasms, but he seemed a little nervous, but he was really truly nice and respectful.

But then….he fell asleep. Like, that’s fine at night. But, after sex during the day I want (1) more sex, (2) conversation, and/or (3) the guy to leave. I don’t want to cuddle and nap.

He totally wants to see me again. I don’t know how to bring this up now “no sleeping after sex”, but this could be a problem.

Sex is the best

I mean, really, it is. Or can be.  I had a couple weeks of strep throat recovery, low energy, and low libido.  But this weekend I started feeling more normal. I was supposed to meet one guy on Saturday, but I got caught up in work (and he was only available during the day) and I asked if we could meet Sunday. Unfortunately our schedules only lined up for a 1/2 hour or so on Sunday, so I met him. He was attractive. Nicer than I feared he might be. But we didn’t have much time. He said he wanted to meet again, but we’ll see I think we all know about that kind of statement. Could be real…or not.

And Trump Hat Guy had talked about getting together….but, of course, he was a flake. He texted some, but didn’t seem to have any time. So finally, I just told him we shouldn’t be in touch anymore b/c he’s just not that nice to me. And…it felt good to say that. Yes, we have some kind of crazy connection in person. And I do think he legitimately cares about me as much as he can.  But he’s not capable of being a nice person to me other than when we’re actually together. Which is rare. And that’s stupid for me to waste emotional energy on that. So. I’m done. I haven’t heard back. I know I will at some point. I just hope I stay strong.

In between, I was texting a guy I had hooked up with before.  He finally found a place in the city and only lives about a mile from me. But he was traveling a bunch. Then I was sick…and we had finally decided to meet up Tuesday or Wed this week.  On Tuesday at about 4, I heard from hot bi guy who was proposing a 3some for that night with a guy who I had messaged with a bunch a year or so ago, but we had never gotten together b/c, at the time, the guy was really only into group stuff and I didn’t have a group to provide. Unfortunately, he got stuck at work and the 3some didn’t happen on Tuesday and, in the process, I had moved the previous hookup to last night.

So yesterday I was in a bad mood all day. I’m just sick of all the societal misogyny. And sometimes it gets to me. It had gotten to me. For sure. But I was also incredibly horny all day.  I was exhausted, got home late, but still wanted to get laid…so finally he came over around 9:15. He was hotter and in better shape than I remembered. Which is definitely a good surprise. And the chemistry was still so intense. We ended up just making out by my front door for quite awhile when he first arrived. He walks the line between being rough and sensual that I really enjoy.  And he’s ALL about me getting off. As many times as he can get me off. In short, the sex is fantastic. And after…I felt like the sky had opened and I could breathe again. I have more patience, less tension, I’m in a better mood…sex is the best. Really. It is.

How is it that 3somes now seem normal?

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a complaint or a worry. It just is…I’m a 40-something professional woman who most people would describe as highly engaged in activism, maybe a little weird (people have a hard time with single women who are happy), kind of innocent looking…and yet, here I am, as a “go to MILF” for an incredibly hot bi guy…

So, super hot bi guy said he had a lot of interested guys in 3somes with me. Which just seems weird to me. But, ok! I’m not complaining. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t taken much time to just have fun sex…and if super hot bi guy wants to set up something where I end up naked? I’m going to trust the situation. He’s finishing up med school and was on night shifts last week, so we had to wait for the weekend…Saturday he starts texting me options for the evening. Which feels kind of weird. I mean, these are humans. But yes, I’m going to go with the one I find most attractive. And he had a nice cock too…

So, super hot bi guy and this new guy show up at my place Saturday evening. They had smoked some weed before coming over, which was fine with me. I don’t care. We proceeded to have a couple drinks. The new guy seemed shy and maybe a little too stoned, but he was pretty hot (not necessarily my type – a little to pretty boy for me – but I couldn’t complain about the good doctor’s work in finding him).

After awhile, we went to my room. The undressing is always the most awkward part of group stuff IMO.  With one on one, you can easily undress the other. With group, you kind of have to take care of yourself. Or that’s how it has always been….Since both guys are in amazing shape, I had the moment of worrying that my imperfect body, somewhat bloated from my leftover Chinese food dinner, was not up to their standards…but with both sucking on each of my nipples, I quickly forgot about it.

Other than my first MMF  where we literally had all independently made decisions to sleep with each other before we got together, this was the best dynamic I’ve had for a 3some. And definitely the hottest guys, which, you know, is part of the fantasy.  I finally managed to experience DVP, which was really fun, though way more awkward than it looks in porn (again, how am I just “oh, yeah, DVP…fun! But awkward? I am not someone anyone in my office would expect this of. But that’s part of the fun).  Oh, and DVP is also fun, besides being awkward.

By the end, I was done, the guys were done, my bed was beyond soaked (so gross to sleep in that night, but well worth it) and I woke up to a nice message from super hot bi guy about how fun it was…and a message this morning asking if I’m around tonight if he can set something up…

Unfortunately, he leaves for the summer soon. I don’t know how med school works. All I know is that he won’t be around after his next set of boards for at least 3 months, maybe forever (depending on job prospects). But I can definitely say that he will be remembered as the guy who helped create a situation that lil ol’ me never thought I’d be in – not just hot, crazy sex. But hot, crazy sex with 2 guys who I never would have dreamed were guys who would be naked with me.*

*Note, I’m very pragmatic about who is in my league looks-wise and who isn’t.  Pretty people are people I enjoy b/c, well, I am motivated by what looks amazing. I don’t think it it means anything more for me than “why yes, I do like touching you naked”-type excitement. I’m no more or less valuable as a person post-3some with hot guys than I was before. It was just a true fantasy experience.

I didn’t know nerds could be this hot

A week or so again, OKC alerted me that someone had liked my profile. Normally I can’t see likes on OKC b/c I don’t pay for the service, but once in awhile, OKC wants me to know about one. And once in awhile, I actually look. And once in awhile, I’m actually interested. And sometimes out of that, the person messages me after I like them back.  This was one of those times.

Nerd Boy looked Hot AF in his pics. Like the type of guy who can wear eyeliner and makeup and look hot (not that he was…but I could see it).  And we seemed to really hit it off my messaging.  It was clear he had his choice of women, so I had certain expectations…and then he kind of blew all of them up by letting me know he was into comic books, D&D, and bowling. Um…huh? But I kind of like that. Hot normal guys are fun, but boring. Hot nerdy guy? Bring it on.

We met early on Saturday b/c he had to be up insanely early on Sunday.  I got to the bar a couple minutes before him and was not at all disappointed when he walked in.  However, I don’t know about our chemistry. It was pretty comfortable, lots of laughing, but there was something that seemed like it was preventing full on chemistry. And yet…when he kissed me it was a great great kiss.  It just worked.  So we did end up going back to my place where we had really really great sex.  But…there was that piece that just seemed to be holding back animalistic sex.  Was it lack of chemistry? Lack of trust? I don’t know. I do know I really enjoyed him. And I do know that I thought he was hot AF.  And the average hotness of guys I have fucked recently has been pretty damn high.  (Oddly, the less I have time to give a shit about getting ready to meet someone, the hotter the partners are for sex…hmmm)

So again, I don’t know if we’ll fuck again. I’m happy if we do. Fine if we don’t.  I do have a supposed 3some with the super hot bi guy lined up, so maybe that will play out this week.

And, btw, as a woman who allows myself to be used as a sex object on MY terms (terms that have nothing to do with food), fuck Pence and his fucking attitude that women can’t dine with men. That’s just discrimination. And if I want to fuck someone, food is not necessary (when was the last time I fucked after a meal? I don’t even know).  I’m smarter than most men I work with and have to work twice as hard because men support each other and not women as much…but at least most of those men have the decency not to treat me like all I am is a vagina.

Just a random Wednesday gangbang thing…

Back in December, I was supposed to have a 3some with a guy I had been talking to for literally years and another guy who I’ll call Hot AF guy.  The first guy bailed and, for whatever reason, I didn’t invite Hot AF guy over. I hadn’t met him and I actually assumed he couldn’t possibly be as gorgeous as his pics. I mean, no guy THAT hot is in med school and bi. Like, that’s a make believe porn scenario. I don’t even know people that hot in life…then Hot AF guy moved away for awhile and moved back…got in touch again. So we’ve been trying to line something up. Sunday we were supposed to have a 3some with Trade Up Guy, but TUG flaked.  So, Hot AF guy and I started trying to find someone else. Without getting into too much detail, somehow, but 4:00 yesterday, we had 4 guys lined up who all seemed nice and cool.

Look, I know inviting 4 random guys to my house for sex is probably gonna shock some people. I mean, they could kill me or something. But since I was the one bringing the group together, I figured the likelihood of them plotting to kill me was remote. And I had made it clear, if I wasn’t into it, it wasn’t happening. But fortunately, everyone who showed up was really cool, nice, professional, etc. We had a drink and then went to my room.

I’m not aware of any unawkward way to start things with 4 guys. So the first one on the bed (yay Hot AF guy! and he serious, I mean, beyond hot. Like he could and should model. While he’s going thru med school. And being super nice and chill. And having a gorgeous dick. Like…HOW IN THE HELL AM I NAKED WITH SOMEONE SO PERFECT) got my attention.  Then someone else started touching me and someone else got on the bed and all of a sudden, everyone is joining in. Well, everyone except the guy I’ll call Hot Nerd. Hot Nerd is one of those guys you would not notice on the train b/c he carries himself kind a like a dork. But he is beautiful naked and actually has a really nice face. He had warned me that he had taken adderall that day and didn’t know if he could get hard…and I guess he couldn’t 😦 weirdly, he kind of ducked out in the middle after watching awhile and not getting hard. I mean, I’m glad he just left. I don’t want anyone to feel awkward. But 😦 I exchanged a couple messages with him last night and he still is interested in meeting.

Anyway, it was sort of tag team sex. Hot AF was the only bi guy, so they didn’t do anything together. It was definitely awkward at times. Guys would go soft at inopportune times. But I realized that’s kind of the deal with a group. I think they get performance anxiety. Luckily everyone seemed laid back and cool about it all and it was all really oddly comfortable and chill. I’ve had way more awkward one on ones…

So I would definitely hook up with Hot AF guy and another guy he knew who ended up in the group again…they live pretty close to me and we got a good rhythm at the end.  The other guy who stayed…IDK. There was nothing wrong, but there was nothing super right about him either. Not sure I see the point.

It’s funny…I have said I wanted a gangbang at some point, and I guess this sort of is. But I always thought it would be super organized and planned out…and this just came together and was great.

Sadly, stuff like this is why I probably could never run for office (a thing I’ve considered). Not that these guys would talk. But someone probably would. And it hurts no one and was a fun night. But it sounds crazy to people who haven’t done it, so they judge.

Apparently there are advantages to leaving the house for fun…

Lately I haven’t really been in the mood to leave the house much when I don’t have to. Part of it has been being insanely busy. Part of it is a new puppy. And tonight was one of those nights where I ran through all the reasons I could come up with to cancel, but since it was a guy I was genuinely curious about meeting and we were meeting early, I couldn’t come up with something. From his pics, I couldn’t tell if he’d be hot or not. He was one of those people who look either hot af or weird and nothing in between in his pics. So I walked in 2 min late and he was right by the door…but my glasses had fogged up so it took me a minute to actually see him. And he was much closer to hot af than weird (he really needs to curate his pics better).  He was only 6 years younger than me, which is usually a bad age for me (I do better with 10+ years younger), but the conversation was as easy in person as it had been by message and I was pretty sure he was into me…but we’d kind of talked about by message that I like it when a guy just goes for a kiss on a date. It shows confidence (it can also be very bad, but I figure if I give the explicit permission if I’m still there, it’s a little different than a random date with a stranger). And he agreed…but we finished our drinks and he asked if I wanted another and he hadn’t kissed me. So I was admittedly a little confused.

Conversation was still good…and finally, an hour and a half after we met up, he said something like “i guess I should have done this awhile ago” and he kissed me.  And the kiss was great..one of those “I don’t want it to end kisses”. We were done with our 2nd drink, so I just figured I’d invite him back to my place (he accepted). Annnddd. We definitely had chemistry. My bed ended up completely soaked and I liked how assertive he was once he knew (I guess) that I was interested.  I’m pretty sure I’ll see him again.

So, yeah. Leaving my place can be a good thing. If I’m going to continue saving the world like I’ve been doing (or trying to) lately, I need some time to just indulge myself like this.

I need to remember all these benefits of leaving the house next time I don’t want to meet someone…

My perfect Friday night

Superman came over, fucked me, I orgasmed more times than I could count (or just never stopped?), and then he left to go out with friends and I can chill and go to bed early and get up early.

Sad for some? Maybe. For me, perfect.  I like time to myself. I don’t like being up late Fridays. I like getting up early on a Saturday, working out, and having a full day.  And I like sex. I like sex to not interfere with my time to chill out. And this didn’t.  Doesn’t.

And, by the way, being dildo’d at the same time I’m being eaten out is heaven.  Total heaven.

And I’m still riding the bliss of pretty much an hour or so straight of orgasms…