Pet Peeve: Falling asleep after sex (but the rest of it was good)

Yesterday I started chatting with someone I’ll call Geek Guy about, well, fantasies, sex. He had one of the ubiquitous shirtless/headless pics on OKC and I usually assume those guys are looking for what I’m looking for, so I’m the one who actually messages with them. When he showed me his face pics after a bit of good chatting, I realized I’d seen him on apps before and had gone back and forth on matching with him, and decided not to. But since were talking…he squeaked in as someone I’d consider. It’s not that he’s unattractive, he’s just not by type necessarily. But it turned out that he seemed nice, intelligent, normal, and kinky, so I figured I was up for meeting and we agreed on today during the day.

We met at the bar close to me and when I walked in, he was at the bar (almost no one was there) and it was…awkward. He was sort of watching the tv and didn’t seem interested in talking. Granted, I had spent all of 5 min getting ready, so I did feel like maybe he wasn’t into me, and I hadn’t decided if I was into him…

But then conversation started clicking and got better. And I decided he was a really nice guy, probably a little shy, and certainly attractive enough to fuck. So, we headed back to my place and it was very good sex, with room for improvement. I did have some great orgasms, but he seemed a little nervous, but he was really truly nice and respectful.

But then….he fell asleep. Like, that’s fine at night. But, after sex during the day I want (1) more sex, (2) conversation, and/or (3) the guy to leave. I don’t want to cuddle and nap.

He totally wants to see me again. I don’t know how to bring this up now “no sleeping after sex”, but this could be a problem.

How is it that 3somes now seem normal?

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a complaint or a worry. It just is…I’m a 40-something professional woman who most people would describe as highly engaged in activism, maybe a little weird (people have a hard time with single women who are happy), kind of innocent looking…and yet, here I am, as a “go to MILF” for an incredibly hot bi guy…

So, super hot bi guy said he had a lot of interested guys in 3somes with me. Which just seems weird to me. But, ok! I’m not complaining. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t taken much time to just have fun sex…and if super hot bi guy wants to set up something where I end up naked? I’m going to trust the situation. He’s finishing up med school and was on night shifts last week, so we had to wait for the weekend…Saturday he starts texting me options for the evening. Which feels kind of weird. I mean, these are humans. But yes, I’m going to go with the one I find most attractive. And he had a nice cock too…

So, super hot bi guy and this new guy show up at my place Saturday evening. They had smoked some weed before coming over, which was fine with me. I don’t care. We proceeded to have a couple drinks. The new guy seemed shy and maybe a little too stoned, but he was pretty hot (not necessarily my type – a little to pretty boy for me – but I couldn’t complain about the good doctor’s work in finding him).

After awhile, we went to my room. The undressing is always the most awkward part of group stuff IMO.  With one on one, you can easily undress the other. With group, you kind of have to take care of yourself. Or that’s how it has always been….Since both guys are in amazing shape, I had the moment of worrying that my imperfect body, somewhat bloated from my leftover Chinese food dinner, was not up to their standards…but with both sucking on each of my nipples, I quickly forgot about it.

Other than my first MMF  where we literally had all independently made decisions to sleep with each other before we got together, this was the best dynamic I’ve had for a 3some. And definitely the hottest guys, which, you know, is part of the fantasy.  I finally managed to experience DVP, which was really fun, though way more awkward than it looks in porn (again, how am I just “oh, yeah, DVP…fun! But awkward? I am not someone anyone in my office would expect this of. But that’s part of the fun).  Oh, and DVP is also fun, besides being awkward.

By the end, I was done, the guys were done, my bed was beyond soaked (so gross to sleep in that night, but well worth it) and I woke up to a nice message from super hot bi guy about how fun it was…and a message this morning asking if I’m around tonight if he can set something up…

Unfortunately, he leaves for the summer soon. I don’t know how med school works. All I know is that he won’t be around after his next set of boards for at least 3 months, maybe forever (depending on job prospects). But I can definitely say that he will be remembered as the guy who helped create a situation that lil ol’ me never thought I’d be in – not just hot, crazy sex. But hot, crazy sex with 2 guys who I never would have dreamed were guys who would be naked with me.*

*Note, I’m very pragmatic about who is in my league looks-wise and who isn’t.  Pretty people are people I enjoy b/c, well, I am motivated by what looks amazing. I don’t think it it means anything more for me than “why yes, I do like touching you naked”-type excitement. I’m no more or less valuable as a person post-3some with hot guys than I was before. It was just a true fantasy experience.

The logistics of arranging an MMF…

MMFs are my favorite sexual situation. They just turn me on and I don’t find having an extra person weird or awkward in any way (I kind of do with MFF).  But they’re the hardest to arrange IMO. Finding 2 guys who are on the same page with the amount, type, or limitations on physical contact is…daunting. And then, when you do, getting them BOTH to show up at the appointed time is even more difficult.

Last night I had set up an MMF with Hot Bi Guy and a guy I had messaged with in the past who reappeared who just looks so all american innocent…but, around 6pm, I got a message from the new guy that he had a million things in the air and he wasn’t going to know if he could make it until much later. Well…I had also been in a 3way chat with Hot Bi Guy and another guy who I had been messaging forever. Since all american innocent guy had asked first about setting something up for Tuesday, he had first dibs on my time. But with him looking unlikely, I needed an answer b/c at the same time, the other new guy was messaging me asking if by any chance things had fallen through and he could make an appearance. I didn’t really want to say to all american guy “are you in or are you out bc I have other options”, but finally he gave me an answer asking to reschedule. Whew. It was only 6:15 and I could ask the other new guy (he’ll be Teacher Guy from now on…b/c he’s a teacher) and Hot Bi Guy if that could be the new situation for the night.

Hot Bi Guy just rolled with it. He’s like…my dream 3rd for MMFs. He’s fucking gorgeous. Truly. I am seriously fine if he just comes over and lets me talk to him so that I can look at him. And he’s really nice and laid back. And he’s fine with whatever another guy is into…and he is cool with awkwardness and he’s just a perfect third.

Teacher guy showed up first, ostensibly to have a drink and get to know each other since we hadn’t met and Hot Bi Guy and I had.  I actually thought he meant have a drink, but within 5-10 min, my pants were at my ankles and he was eating me out. We eventually made it to my bedroom where I ended up naked, while he did everything he could to me with his clothes on.  After I’d cum a couple times, Hot Bi Guy arrived. I was naked, Teacher guy was close to it and on top of me, so he just laid down next to me and joined in.  Even though Teacher Guy had said he was into experimenting with a guy, he really didn’t seem to be. Which, while disappointing, was still fun as then all attention was on me.

Afterwards, Hot Bi Guy asked Teacher guy how old he was…Teacher guy is 25 and Hot Bi Guy is 27. I quickly did the math to make sure I’m younger than their ages combined (yes, I am).  They kind of teased me about that – robbing the cradle and all…but men my age tend to be really sexually reserved in comparison. And not as respectful.

The only awkwardness really was at the end when we were all dressed and Hot Bi Guy and I are chatting about tattoos and medical school and Teacher Guy was like “oh, my lyft is here”. I mean, that’s fine. I didn’t expect a ton of lingering, but he was gone in a second. He did message me after saying he had fun.  So, IDK. Hot Bi Guy gave me a hug on the way out and said “see you soon”…so yay, he seems down to keep on being my 3rd!

I had a moment or two of thinking how odd this is. I’m not someone anyone would expect would rush home from work to get ready for 2 guys to come over to see. And yet, it just seems like a way to have fun that is low pressure and high enjoyment. So it doesn’t actually feel weird. It would just sound crazy to anyone who knows me who doesn’t know this side of me (and maybe to a few who do).

I didn’t know nerds could be this hot

A week or so again, OKC alerted me that someone had liked my profile. Normally I can’t see likes on OKC b/c I don’t pay for the service, but once in awhile, OKC wants me to know about one. And once in awhile, I actually look. And once in awhile, I’m actually interested. And sometimes out of that, the person messages me after I like them back.  This was one of those times.

Nerd Boy looked Hot AF in his pics. Like the type of guy who can wear eyeliner and makeup and look hot (not that he was…but I could see it).  And we seemed to really hit it off my messaging.  It was clear he had his choice of women, so I had certain expectations…and then he kind of blew all of them up by letting me know he was into comic books, D&D, and bowling. Um…huh? But I kind of like that. Hot normal guys are fun, but boring. Hot nerdy guy? Bring it on.

We met early on Saturday b/c he had to be up insanely early on Sunday.  I got to the bar a couple minutes before him and was not at all disappointed when he walked in.  However, I don’t know about our chemistry. It was pretty comfortable, lots of laughing, but there was something that seemed like it was preventing full on chemistry. And yet…when he kissed me it was a great great kiss.  It just worked.  So we did end up going back to my place where we had really really great sex.  But…there was that piece that just seemed to be holding back animalistic sex.  Was it lack of chemistry? Lack of trust? I don’t know. I do know I really enjoyed him. And I do know that I thought he was hot AF.  And the average hotness of guys I have fucked recently has been pretty damn high.  (Oddly, the less I have time to give a shit about getting ready to meet someone, the hotter the partners are for sex…hmmm)

So again, I don’t know if we’ll fuck again. I’m happy if we do. Fine if we don’t.  I do have a supposed 3some with the super hot bi guy lined up, so maybe that will play out this week.

And, btw, as a woman who allows myself to be used as a sex object on MY terms (terms that have nothing to do with food), fuck Pence and his fucking attitude that women can’t dine with men. That’s just discrimination. And if I want to fuck someone, food is not necessary (when was the last time I fucked after a meal? I don’t even know).  I’m smarter than most men I work with and have to work twice as hard because men support each other and not women as much…but at least most of those men have the decency not to treat me like all I am is a vagina.

Just a random Wednesday gangbang thing…

Back in December, I was supposed to have a 3some with a guy I had been talking to for literally years and another guy who I’ll call Hot AF guy.  The first guy bailed and, for whatever reason, I didn’t invite Hot AF guy over. I hadn’t met him and I actually assumed he couldn’t possibly be as gorgeous as his pics. I mean, no guy THAT hot is in med school and bi. Like, that’s a make believe porn scenario. I don’t even know people that hot in life…then Hot AF guy moved away for awhile and moved back…got in touch again. So we’ve been trying to line something up. Sunday we were supposed to have a 3some with Trade Up Guy, but TUG flaked.  So, Hot AF guy and I started trying to find someone else. Without getting into too much detail, somehow, but 4:00 yesterday, we had 4 guys lined up who all seemed nice and cool.

Look, I know inviting 4 random guys to my house for sex is probably gonna shock some people. I mean, they could kill me or something. But since I was the one bringing the group together, I figured the likelihood of them plotting to kill me was remote. And I had made it clear, if I wasn’t into it, it wasn’t happening. But fortunately, everyone who showed up was really cool, nice, professional, etc. We had a drink and then went to my room.

I’m not aware of any unawkward way to start things with 4 guys. So the first one on the bed (yay Hot AF guy! and he serious, I mean, beyond hot. Like he could and should model. While he’s going thru med school. And being super nice and chill. And having a gorgeous dick. Like…HOW IN THE HELL AM I NAKED WITH SOMEONE SO PERFECT) got my attention.  Then someone else started touching me and someone else got on the bed and all of a sudden, everyone is joining in. Well, everyone except the guy I’ll call Hot Nerd. Hot Nerd is one of those guys you would not notice on the train b/c he carries himself kind a like a dork. But he is beautiful naked and actually has a really nice face. He had warned me that he had taken adderall that day and didn’t know if he could get hard…and I guess he couldn’t 😦 weirdly, he kind of ducked out in the middle after watching awhile and not getting hard. I mean, I’m glad he just left. I don’t want anyone to feel awkward. But 😦 I exchanged a couple messages with him last night and he still is interested in meeting.

Anyway, it was sort of tag team sex. Hot AF was the only bi guy, so they didn’t do anything together. It was definitely awkward at times. Guys would go soft at inopportune times. But I realized that’s kind of the deal with a group. I think they get performance anxiety. Luckily everyone seemed laid back and cool about it all and it was all really oddly comfortable and chill. I’ve had way more awkward one on ones…

So I would definitely hook up with Hot AF guy and another guy he knew who ended up in the group again…they live pretty close to me and we got a good rhythm at the end.  The other guy who stayed…IDK. There was nothing wrong, but there was nothing super right about him either. Not sure I see the point.

It’s funny…I have said I wanted a gangbang at some point, and I guess this sort of is. But I always thought it would be super organized and planned out…and this just came together and was great.

Sadly, stuff like this is why I probably could never run for office (a thing I’ve considered). Not that these guys would talk. But someone probably would. And it hurts no one and was a fun night. But it sounds crazy to people who haven’t done it, so they judge.

I actually agree with Rush Limbaugh on this…

“You know what the magic word, the only thing that matters in American sexual mores today is? You can do anything — the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything — as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent.

“If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it’s perfectly fine. Whatever it is. But if the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation, then here come the rape police. But consent is the magic key to the left.”

– Rush Limbaugh

Ahhhh. yes. that was good. very good

I had a boring weekend. Sort of by plan, sort of by happenstance. I needed it. I wanted it. But I also was feeling like I really wanted some nice pleasure. But I didn’t feel like meeting someone new and I didn’t really feel like trying to line things up with someone “old”.  So basically, I didn’t do anything. But yesterday on my run I was thinking about Superman. Wondering what he’d been up to. Hoping I’d get to see him soon. And vowing to text when I got home.  Which I promptly forgot about b/c I find that what I think about during runs leaves me as soon as I finish the run.

And then a few hours later, “Hey. How’s it going?” from Superman…did he know I was thinking about him naked? Probably…so I told him I’d been thinking about him. Turns out he obv was thinking about me.  We make plans to meet next weekend, but I said to let me know if he’s ever in my ‘hood b/c you never know if our schedules would line up. He pointed out he gets off mid-afternoon. I said, “well, for example, tomorrow I have a call at 6:30am, so I’m just going to work from home.”  This morning he texts asking me if he wants me to swing by when he’s done. Um. YES. Please god yes.

It took a little scheduling to pull it off, but he got to my place late afternoon.  The thing about our energy is that we’re kind of friendly/pals, both a little awkward and slightly shy, then we get naked and just know how to touch each other and lick each other. Or he does me. And I am pretty sure it’s mutual. So we’re chatting, he gets in the shower, I go and give my dogs chew treats (seriously, they have been sooo annoying since I got the new cat. They don’t like that she sits outside my door with them and that makes them barky. gah. I need a solution b/c the chew treat only lasted for 10 min or so).  I join Superman in the shower and he starts touching me and…fuck yes. It’s on. After some light shower oral, we get out and he just buries his face in me and I can’t remember the last time I truly fully and totally came during oral, but I did. For soooooo long.  Then he starts fingering me and I start soaking my bed.  And I feel like I’ve had countless orgasms as a warm up.  He was so close to coming that I don’t even think I gave my best effort for a blow job before he came.  And he was immediately hard right after because, you know, he’s 27. And I guess 27 year old guys can do that. So I climb on top and it’s just ok, a little awkward and then, omg. He finds the spot.  And I just start this endless orgasm that soaks the bed. By the time he climbs behind me, I’m pretty much toast, but I was able to keep low grade coming until he came again.

And then, like a good FWB, he got dressed to leave. Don’t get me wrong, some FWBs are great for conversation. He’s not one of them. He is soooo sweet. And doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. And he is hot AF IMO. But our conversations are kind of shallow and I’m fine with that. He is almost the perfect FWB. The sex is top notch. He’s nothing but respectful and sweet and easy. And I don’t have to worry about real feelings for him. If he met someone and disappeared with her, I’d be genuinely happy for him. And if we keep up an every month to 6 months fucking schedule for the next 10 years, I’d also be thrilled.