One attitude I have tried to have over the past year is to just be open to new sexual experiences. As long as they seem safe and I feel I can shut things down at any time, I feel like there is nothing wrong with trying things because I may find things that I never thought I’d like, which I do like. Certainly that has worked well for me for casual sex. Two years ago, I wouldn’t have thought it could work so well for me and leave me actually fulfilled, but it’s been lots of fun. And I am, admittedly, someone who works really hard and doesn’t find a lot of time for “irresponsible” fun. So this attitude led to last night’s experience…
Thanks to the record-breaking snow storm hitting a huge part of the US over the last few days, lots of travel was cancelled, travelers were re-routed, people ended up stuck…and that’s how I ended up at home (I was supposed to be in an area hit by the storm for the weekend) and Sexy Geek Guy (from Thanksgiving) ended up in my city. I got a text from him Friday saying that he would be in my city for the weekend, staying with his sister, but he’d love to see me if I had time. So, of course I made time. It required cancelling a date with a new guy (that I was looking forward to, but still figured it only had a 50% chance of happening) and moving forward dinner with my ex a bit (my ex is a good friend, though we have a tumultuous friendship at times – the reason we didn’t work out as a couple…we can’t do conflict…at all…but we are legitimate friends).
So yesterday mid-day, I got a text from SGG asking if I’d want to check out one of the sex clubs in the area. This is something we’d talked about previously – he’s been to several sex clubs in various glamorous cities in the world and it’s something he enjoys. I have never been to a sex club, but have to admit that I’ve been curious about the underground scene. So, despite feeling like “oh crap…now shit is getting real” about agreeing to actually go, I said that it might be fun and I was up for it. Now, to be clear, SGG didn’t pressure me at all. Indeed, when I told him I was nervous, he reassured me that there was zero pressure – that worst case, we go there and end up leaving because it’s weird. One thing I really like about SGG is that he has the demeanor of truly the nicest guy ever…the guy respects women and is thoroughly non-threatening…but that doesn’t make the sex any less hot.
So he suggested I call about getting us the reservations since the website said you had to be there by 9:30 if it was your first time visiting, but between his family stuff and my dinner plans, we wouldn’t be there until 10 at the earliest. He said that I’d have more luck getting an exception to the policy than he would (benefits of being female I guess). So I sucked it up and called. I don’t even like making dinner reservations…but the call wasn’t much more salacious than making dinner reservations and we had our names down.
SGG came over and we grabbed a zip car to head to the club, which was about a 45 minute drive away. It was a completely non-descript, residential looking place from the road. But there was a gravel parking lot out back that was clearly pretty full. We found our way into the club through a door that was not marked at all, paid, and then we were taken on a tour by the friendliest woman ever. When we first walked in, there was a bar area – they had no bartender, but you could bring whatever alcohol you wanted and the club provided some mixers. The bar area and dance floor was pretty big – kind of the size of a normal bar with a dance floor. And people were basically hanging out as if it was a bar. Just a bunch of couples and chit chat. Some people were playing pool. It reminded me of a townie bar I used to sometimes go to in college…I can’t say the clientele was attractive. For awhile, I thought SGG and I were, by far, the hottest couple in the place. But after awhile, I saw 2 other couples that were probably similar to us. And I don’t mean to be a jerk about it…it is what it is. And there was something kind of cool about all these different people just being sooooo relaxed about being at a sex club. SGG said all the fancy ones he’s been to, there is a level of artifice at play. And this had NONE of that.
So, the friendly tour woman then took us around. The building was like a house that had been haphazardly and randomly added on in weird ways. There were lofts (kind of like college dorm lofts), some private rooms where doors locked, some rooms with just beds lined up next to each other, black lights with glowing stars, zebra sheets…it was completely and utterly tacky. She showed us where clean sheets were kept if we needed to change sheets if we got to a bed. Explained that if you’re in an open access room, people will watch…and as we were walking around, there was one couple having sex in a bed in an open room and another couple was standing at the end of the bed just watching.
SGG and I went back to the bar area where a raffle was held a little after 11. I think the main prize was winning half-price admission for the next visit. Some numbers very closer to ours were called, but we didn’t win anything…which was fine. And within 10 minutes of the raffle, I’d say the room was half empty. People were staking out their places. SGG hung out talking awhile. He has the best attitude and, even though this was not remotely one of the high class, crazy clubs he has been to before, he thought it was great. And the thing about him, he makes me feel comfortable. Like I can say at any point in time, I’m not into this and he wouldn’t even be disappointed. He checked in several times to make sure I felt ok…and I did. I mean, I can’t say this was a sexy environment. But it was a different experience, for sure. And I really enjoy hanging out with SGG…
So, we eventually decided to wander around. There were a lot more people watching people have sex, than people having sex, and it was kind of dark, so everything seemed relatively anonymous. SGG asked if I’d be open to finding a spot and I found myself agreeing…he had kind of picked out this one loft that he thought wouldn’t be too intimidating to me. It had a trap door thing once you got into it that you could close so people couldn’t climb up the ladder into it. And although people could see there was someone in the loft and probably catch some glimpses of skin, it was really pretty private. Indeed, in some respects, having sex in a city apartment/condo or a hotel room isn’t *that* much more private, given that people can hear, uh, sex noises.
So…we ended up having sex in this loft that reminded me of a college dorm room…and it was fun. I mean, mostly it was fun because sex with SGG is great. He comes closest to knowing where I like certain lines for how aggressive sex is. Was it more fun than having sex at my place? Yes and no. I can’t say I directly got that much out of the whole watching or being watched thing. Probably because there was no one I really wanted to watch and, as such, the idea that they might catch glimpses of something was really not that crazy to me. Plus it was dark and, despite the sex club thing, it felt relatively private. But sharing something kind of kooky and weird and still finding a way to make it fun and sexy with SGG did add to the sex.
Would I do it again? Well, not at this sex club. No. I don’t regret going, but it’s a pain to get to a kooky and weird place to have sex. Would I go to a different club with SGG? Probably. Because I wonder if I would like a different type of environment more or less and the only way to find out is to try…and given how comfortable it was with him, I would trust him. Would I go to a different club with someone else? Maybe. Very circumstance specific.
So, hopefully I’ll get to see SGG one more time before he’s able to get out of here to get home. We were both up late and he has family stuff all day, so who knows if it will work out. But I should be in his city this week or next for work, so either way, should see him soon.