How is it that 3somes now seem normal?

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a complaint or a worry. It just is…I’m a 40-something professional woman who most people would describe as highly engaged in activism, maybe a little weird (people have a hard time with single women who are happy), kind of innocent looking…and yet, here I am, as a “go to MILF” for an incredibly hot bi guy…

So, super hot bi guy said he had a lot of interested guys in 3somes with me. Which just seems weird to me. But, ok! I’m not complaining. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t taken much time to just have fun sex…and if super hot bi guy wants to set up something where I end up naked? I’m going to trust the situation. He’s finishing up med school and was on night shifts last week, so we had to wait for the weekend…Saturday he starts texting me options for the evening. Which feels kind of weird. I mean, these are humans. But yes, I’m going to go with the one I find most attractive. And he had a nice cock too…

So, super hot bi guy and this new guy show up at my place Saturday evening. They had smoked some weed before coming over, which was fine with me. I don’t care. We proceeded to have a couple drinks. The new guy seemed shy and maybe a little too stoned, but he was pretty hot (not necessarily my type – a little to pretty boy for me – but I couldn’t complain about the good doctor’s work in finding him).

After awhile, we went to my room. The undressing is always the most awkward part of group stuff IMO.  With one on one, you can easily undress the other. With group, you kind of have to take care of yourself. Or that’s how it has always been….Since both guys are in amazing shape, I had the moment of worrying that my imperfect body, somewhat bloated from my leftover Chinese food dinner, was not up to their standards…but with both sucking on each of my nipples, I quickly forgot about it.

Other than my first MMF  where we literally had all independently made decisions to sleep with each other before we got together, this was the best dynamic I’ve had for a 3some. And definitely the hottest guys, which, you know, is part of the fantasy.  I finally managed to experience DVP, which was really fun, though way more awkward than it looks in porn (again, how am I just “oh, yeah, DVP…fun! But awkward? I am not someone anyone in my office would expect this of. But that’s part of the fun).  Oh, and DVP is also fun, besides being awkward.

By the end, I was done, the guys were done, my bed was beyond soaked (so gross to sleep in that night, but well worth it) and I woke up to a nice message from super hot bi guy about how fun it was…and a message this morning asking if I’m around tonight if he can set something up…

Unfortunately, he leaves for the summer soon. I don’t know how med school works. All I know is that he won’t be around after his next set of boards for at least 3 months, maybe forever (depending on job prospects). But I can definitely say that he will be remembered as the guy who helped create a situation that lil ol’ me never thought I’d be in – not just hot, crazy sex. But hot, crazy sex with 2 guys who I never would have dreamed were guys who would be naked with me.*

*Note, I’m very pragmatic about who is in my league looks-wise and who isn’t.  Pretty people are people I enjoy b/c, well, I am motivated by what looks amazing. I don’t think it it means anything more for me than “why yes, I do like touching you naked”-type excitement. I’m no more or less valuable as a person post-3some with hot guys than I was before. It was just a true fantasy experience.

The Frustration of Being Told by Feminists that I don’t Really Control My Own Sex Choices

Today I was told that prostitution and porn aren’t sex and women can’t consent to them by a friend who is a feminist.

And, while I absolutely understand the concerns about sex trafficking and always elevate those from a policy perspective above all else, I refuse to accept that I couldn’t go out and charge money to have sex with me. I mean, I’ve had sex that was less exciting than other sex. And I’ve had sex that wasn’t what I expected it to be. And I’ve had boring sex. And I’ve had sex to get out of an awkward situation.  All of those were my choice. I have been raped. I know the difference. There is an enormous difference between being mid-fuck and thinking “I would much rather be sleeping right now, but I’ll power through it” and doing what has to be done to stay alive. So, if I wanted to have boring sex and get paid for it, eh…that’s my choice. I have options in life.

But yet…I frequently encounter women I admire, smart women, capable women, women who are well-educated, etc who are around my age…who give me parameters that have to be met for sex to be valid. For sex to be something that isn’t about the patriarchy. Some things I agree with – like consent – but others, like a loving environment….not so much. I’ve had in-love sex. It’s fantastic. I have also had raunch, kinky, not-remotely-in-love sex with men who I don’t even for sure know their names…and that’s also fantastic. But different.

If you did away with the patriarchy and religion, there would be zero reason why we’d raise an eyebrow at any adult’s safe sexual choices, whether or not money was involved, as long as everyone involved was able to and did consent. Yet those trying to smash the patriarchy often perpetuate it by saying there is a right and a wrong way to have sex.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a shit on feminists post. It is more a post about what many feminists unquestionably accept – that only men control sex outside of a loving relationship.  And in doing that, women like me are infantilized. And that has scary implications.

 

GAHHH…Dumb emotions again

After the 3some on Tuesday, I reached out to Trump Hat Guy to see if he’s still interested in an MMF with hot bi guy at some point.  He wanted to hear all about the 3some and asked if I would let him be my main guy while I continued to sleep with other guys.  I kind of hesitated…I’m not looking for a relationship after all…and asked if the thought of me “cheating” on him was exciting to him. He said that was exactly right. My response was that I was open, but we need to do a better job about being honest with each other. I’m not into being jerked around.  So we made plans to see each other last night…

I had mixed feelings most of the day – excitement about hanging out with him for more than an hour, but kind of keeping my expectations in check in case he flaked on me again.  And when he didn’t respond to my email about whether we were still on for a few hours, that was only  magnified.

Finally he started responding – that he was still at work (I got out early) and was hoping to leave soon.  He didn’t end up leaving until 6 or so, and came straight to my place.  And it was just a really nice night. We ordered food, had sex on my couch, cuddled…he talked to me about some of the not so great parts of his family life and career.  And also how he knows he’s terrible at communication and it has screwed up all his relationships and he really is trying harder with me than he ever does.

And then he stayed over. For me, the most intimate thing I can do with a person is sleep with them.  I almost never do it and it’s not unusual for me to start having a panic-type attack about sleeping over.  But with him, I just fell asleep…it was the two of us, my two dogs, and at least 2 of my cats in bed.  It was cramped and I was completely relaxed.

When I woke up, I walked my dogs and came back and woke him up and we talked a bit. Then I made us breakfast before I had to head to puppy training class…

So it was the most relationship-y night I’ve had in years. There is this thing between us that I wish wasn’t there, but is. My pets flock to him when he arrives and I feel like he listens to me and kind of gets me. The age difference, the political (HUGE) differences (although he is socially liberal), and the frustrations about his shitty communication skills all kind of go away when we’re hanging out. At some point this is going to turn into a thing. Whether it does soon or if we’re still months away, I don’t know. But we seem to just be drawn to each other. And I love it and also hate it. I hate that the first guy I’ve had feelings for in years voted for Trump. I hate that I can’t even imagine telling most people I know about him – a little due to age, but mostly the politics.  I hate that he’s so predictably bad at communication that he leaves me on edge. But I also really enjoy the feelings of butterflies around him. The relaxation. The comfort. That I can disagree with him on politics or talk to him about my activism and he wants to hear about it. And that he seems to know when he has to back off the teasing about politics and respect that I feel strongly and he needs to STFU.

The universe has a sick sense of humor.

The logistics of arranging an MMF…

MMFs are my favorite sexual situation. They just turn me on and I don’t find having an extra person weird or awkward in any way (I kind of do with MFF).  But they’re the hardest to arrange IMO. Finding 2 guys who are on the same page with the amount, type, or limitations on physical contact is…daunting. And then, when you do, getting them BOTH to show up at the appointed time is even more difficult.

Last night I had set up an MMF with Hot Bi Guy and a guy I had messaged with in the past who reappeared who just looks so all american innocent…but, around 6pm, I got a message from the new guy that he had a million things in the air and he wasn’t going to know if he could make it until much later. Well…I had also been in a 3way chat with Hot Bi Guy and another guy who I had been messaging forever. Since all american innocent guy had asked first about setting something up for Tuesday, he had first dibs on my time. But with him looking unlikely, I needed an answer b/c at the same time, the other new guy was messaging me asking if by any chance things had fallen through and he could make an appearance. I didn’t really want to say to all american guy “are you in or are you out bc I have other options”, but finally he gave me an answer asking to reschedule. Whew. It was only 6:15 and I could ask the other new guy (he’ll be Teacher Guy from now on…b/c he’s a teacher) and Hot Bi Guy if that could be the new situation for the night.

Hot Bi Guy just rolled with it. He’s like…my dream 3rd for MMFs. He’s fucking gorgeous. Truly. I am seriously fine if he just comes over and lets me talk to him so that I can look at him. And he’s really nice and laid back. And he’s fine with whatever another guy is into…and he is cool with awkwardness and he’s just a perfect third.

Teacher guy showed up first, ostensibly to have a drink and get to know each other since we hadn’t met and Hot Bi Guy and I had.  I actually thought he meant have a drink, but within 5-10 min, my pants were at my ankles and he was eating me out. We eventually made it to my bedroom where I ended up naked, while he did everything he could to me with his clothes on.  After I’d cum a couple times, Hot Bi Guy arrived. I was naked, Teacher guy was close to it and on top of me, so he just laid down next to me and joined in.  Even though Teacher Guy had said he was into experimenting with a guy, he really didn’t seem to be. Which, while disappointing, was still fun as then all attention was on me.

Afterwards, Hot Bi Guy asked Teacher guy how old he was…Teacher guy is 25 and Hot Bi Guy is 27. I quickly did the math to make sure I’m younger than their ages combined (yes, I am).  They kind of teased me about that – robbing the cradle and all…but men my age tend to be really sexually reserved in comparison. And not as respectful.

The only awkwardness really was at the end when we were all dressed and Hot Bi Guy and I are chatting about tattoos and medical school and Teacher Guy was like “oh, my lyft is here”. I mean, that’s fine. I didn’t expect a ton of lingering, but he was gone in a second. He did message me after saying he had fun.  So, IDK. Hot Bi Guy gave me a hug on the way out and said “see you soon”…so yay, he seems down to keep on being my 3rd!

I had a moment or two of thinking how odd this is. I’m not someone anyone would expect would rush home from work to get ready for 2 guys to come over to see. And yet, it just seems like a way to have fun that is low pressure and high enjoyment. So it doesn’t actually feel weird. It would just sound crazy to anyone who knows me who doesn’t know this side of me (and maybe to a few who do).

I didn’t know nerds could be this hot

A week or so again, OKC alerted me that someone had liked my profile. Normally I can’t see likes on OKC b/c I don’t pay for the service, but once in awhile, OKC wants me to know about one. And once in awhile, I actually look. And once in awhile, I’m actually interested. And sometimes out of that, the person messages me after I like them back.  This was one of those times.

Nerd Boy looked Hot AF in his pics. Like the type of guy who can wear eyeliner and makeup and look hot (not that he was…but I could see it).  And we seemed to really hit it off my messaging.  It was clear he had his choice of women, so I had certain expectations…and then he kind of blew all of them up by letting me know he was into comic books, D&D, and bowling. Um…huh? But I kind of like that. Hot normal guys are fun, but boring. Hot nerdy guy? Bring it on.

We met early on Saturday b/c he had to be up insanely early on Sunday.  I got to the bar a couple minutes before him and was not at all disappointed when he walked in.  However, I don’t know about our chemistry. It was pretty comfortable, lots of laughing, but there was something that seemed like it was preventing full on chemistry. And yet…when he kissed me it was a great great kiss.  It just worked.  So we did end up going back to my place where we had really really great sex.  But…there was that piece that just seemed to be holding back animalistic sex.  Was it lack of chemistry? Lack of trust? I don’t know. I do know I really enjoyed him. And I do know that I thought he was hot AF.  And the average hotness of guys I have fucked recently has been pretty damn high.  (Oddly, the less I have time to give a shit about getting ready to meet someone, the hotter the partners are for sex…hmmm)

So again, I don’t know if we’ll fuck again. I’m happy if we do. Fine if we don’t.  I do have a supposed 3some with the super hot bi guy lined up, so maybe that will play out this week.

And, btw, as a woman who allows myself to be used as a sex object on MY terms (terms that have nothing to do with food), fuck Pence and his fucking attitude that women can’t dine with men. That’s just discrimination. And if I want to fuck someone, food is not necessary (when was the last time I fucked after a meal? I don’t even know).  I’m smarter than most men I work with and have to work twice as hard because men support each other and not women as much…but at least most of those men have the decency not to treat me like all I am is a vagina.

Productive Saturday…and the Return of Trump Hat Guy

Yesterday morning I traveled about 2 1/2 hours to speak to a group about activism in the Post-Trump World. Then I went home and fucked a Trump voter…sigh…(and then someone after that).

After Wednesday, I decided to get in touch with Trump Hat Guy about a 3some with the super hot bi guy who was part of Wednesday.  THG was into being fucked by a hot guy with a nice cock and, well, super hot bi guy is about as good as it’s going to get for that.  And since I prefer bi MMFs…and super hot bi guy was into the idea, decided to reach out.

THG was moderately in touch for a couple days, but annoyingly uncommunicative.  Then yesterday on my way back from the group, I got a text from him. He was interested in the 3some…but he wanted to see me and hang out with me before anything with a 3rd.  I had plans last night with someone I was actually interested in meeting, which I told him…he said he would come over before that if I’d let him. I was skeptical, as he *never* has ever shown up on time. and I didn’t have a lot of time, so…I didn’t see how that would work.  But I told him if he was at my place at 5, I would give him an hour or so.

And he actually showed up at 5:01 (I’ll take it). He walked in the door and we just started kissing. It didn’t feel like it had been 6-7 months. It felt like we had just seen each other. And of course we were fucking and then naked (yes, we didn’t even really wait) within minutes. After, we talked for like an hour or so. I emphasized that I don’t want the drama we’ve had…I can’t do it. He said he gets that and he promises it will be better. I’m still, of course, wary. And I told him it would take me time to believe that to be the case. He said he understood…and he was also excited that I might go fuck someone else after him if I liked the guy.

After a long day and being well fucked by THG, I wasn’t that into getting ready to go meet the new guy, who I’ll call ex-Hollywood Guy. But he had interested me. He was only 25, looked super hot, and seemed very cool. But I DID want to meet him, so I sucked it up and got dressed (I didn’t shower again…oops). I got there a couple min before him, texted him where I was and when he showed up, he was hotter than I expected and more charming.  Within minutes he was telling me that I was much hotter than my pics and the first person he had met who was. So we had a drink, flirted, and then went back to my place. He was a fantastic kisser, fantastic with his hands…the sex was a little bit less natural than it sometimes is. I don’t know if that was us, his age showing, or just that I’d just been with someone I had a very comfortable sexual vibe with.  After sex, we talked a bit and then he said he’d let me go to sleep (I was grateful)…and I texted THG to let him know that yes, I had fucked the other guy, and he seemed turned on.

So, while some people might be like “omg, you fucked 2 guys in a day, back to back!”, I kind of don’t see that as a big deal. I’m more weirded out that I still have a connection with THG…so we’ll see what plays out. Hopefully I’ll get that bi mmf with him tho…

Just a random Wednesday gangbang thing…

Back in December, I was supposed to have a 3some with a guy I had been talking to for literally years and another guy who I’ll call Hot AF guy.  The first guy bailed and, for whatever reason, I didn’t invite Hot AF guy over. I hadn’t met him and I actually assumed he couldn’t possibly be as gorgeous as his pics. I mean, no guy THAT hot is in med school and bi. Like, that’s a make believe porn scenario. I don’t even know people that hot in life…then Hot AF guy moved away for awhile and moved back…got in touch again. So we’ve been trying to line something up. Sunday we were supposed to have a 3some with Trade Up Guy, but TUG flaked.  So, Hot AF guy and I started trying to find someone else. Without getting into too much detail, somehow, but 4:00 yesterday, we had 4 guys lined up who all seemed nice and cool.

Look, I know inviting 4 random guys to my house for sex is probably gonna shock some people. I mean, they could kill me or something. But since I was the one bringing the group together, I figured the likelihood of them plotting to kill me was remote. And I had made it clear, if I wasn’t into it, it wasn’t happening. But fortunately, everyone who showed up was really cool, nice, professional, etc. We had a drink and then went to my room.

I’m not aware of any unawkward way to start things with 4 guys. So the first one on the bed (yay Hot AF guy! and he serious, I mean, beyond hot. Like he could and should model. While he’s going thru med school. And being super nice and chill. And having a gorgeous dick. Like…HOW IN THE HELL AM I NAKED WITH SOMEONE SO PERFECT) got my attention.  Then someone else started touching me and someone else got on the bed and all of a sudden, everyone is joining in. Well, everyone except the guy I’ll call Hot Nerd. Hot Nerd is one of those guys you would not notice on the train b/c he carries himself kind a like a dork. But he is beautiful naked and actually has a really nice face. He had warned me that he had taken adderall that day and didn’t know if he could get hard…and I guess he couldn’t 😦 weirdly, he kind of ducked out in the middle after watching awhile and not getting hard. I mean, I’m glad he just left. I don’t want anyone to feel awkward. But 😦 I exchanged a couple messages with him last night and he still is interested in meeting.

Anyway, it was sort of tag team sex. Hot AF was the only bi guy, so they didn’t do anything together. It was definitely awkward at times. Guys would go soft at inopportune times. But I realized that’s kind of the deal with a group. I think they get performance anxiety. Luckily everyone seemed laid back and cool about it all and it was all really oddly comfortable and chill. I’ve had way more awkward one on ones…

So I would definitely hook up with Hot AF guy and another guy he knew who ended up in the group again…they live pretty close to me and we got a good rhythm at the end.  The other guy who stayed…IDK. There was nothing wrong, but there was nothing super right about him either. Not sure I see the point.

It’s funny…I have said I wanted a gangbang at some point, and I guess this sort of is. But I always thought it would be super organized and planned out…and this just came together and was great.

Sadly, stuff like this is why I probably could never run for office (a thing I’ve considered). Not that these guys would talk. But someone probably would. And it hurts no one and was a fun night. But it sounds crazy to people who haven’t done it, so they judge.