Pet Peeve: Falling asleep after sex (but the rest of it was good)

Yesterday I started chatting with someone I’ll call Geek Guy about, well, fantasies, sex. He had one of the ubiquitous shirtless/headless pics on OKC and I usually assume those guys are looking for what I’m looking for, so I’m the one who actually messages with them. When he showed me his face pics after a bit of good chatting, I realized I’d seen him on apps before and had gone back and forth on matching with him, and decided not to. But since were talking…he squeaked in as someone I’d consider. It’s not that he’s unattractive, he’s just not by type necessarily. But it turned out that he seemed nice, intelligent, normal, and kinky, so I figured I was up for meeting and we agreed on today during the day.

We met at the bar close to me and when I walked in, he was at the bar (almost no one was there) and it was…awkward. He was sort of watching the tv and didn’t seem interested in talking. Granted, I had spent all of 5 min getting ready, so I did feel like maybe he wasn’t into me, and I hadn’t decided if I was into him…

But then conversation started clicking and got better. And I decided he was a really nice guy, probably a little shy, and certainly attractive enough to fuck. So, we headed back to my place and it was very good sex, with room for improvement. I did have some great orgasms, but he seemed a little nervous, but he was really truly nice and respectful.

But then….he fell asleep. Like, that’s fine at night. But, after sex during the day I want (1) more sex, (2) conversation, and/or (3) the guy to leave. I don’t want to cuddle and nap.

He totally wants to see me again. I don’t know how to bring this up now “no sleeping after sex”, but this could be a problem.


Must be nice to be so fucking privileged that you don’t think your rights will ever be threatened.

But really, I guess it’s good you brag about it. Because if a guy thinks he’s that fucking special that he’s unaffected by policies impacting reproductive health care, health care access, equal rights, etc, he’s probably a pretty bad fuck since he’s probably really only about his own pleasure. (Though, to be fair, he looks really paunchy in his other pics, he’s older than I like them, and he lives in a super conservative area)
DH pic


Oh, well that was good

On Wednesday I was at a conference and got a message from a guy who seemed fine, but not amazing, in his initial message.  Tbh, I can’t even remember it.  But since I was at a conference all day, I decided to message him because I was bored. And I was glad I did.  Our first messages ended up being about him asking questions what it’s like to be a woman in my profession and expressing his admiration for my ability to battle the patriarchy.  He was a lot younger, but he was very open to a real conversation about sexism and misogyny.  So, of course, I was smitten…esp when I kept looking at his pics and liked what I saw. Nothing flashy, but I really liked his face.  When he later sent naked pics, I liked what I saw even more. Normally I’m attracted to creative men (he’s in the film industry), but I get weird about meeting them b/c I have a nice place, I’m “the establishment”, and that can make things weird. But since he thought it was hot that I was a professional and successful, I was more comfortable.

We met for drinks this afternoon near me on a patio I like. And we had what, to me, was a great conversation about politics and society. I kind of believe if you’re not willing to talk politics, sex, and religion right away, you’ll probably bore me.  He held his own on politics. Not always agreeing with me, but being open to hearing from me.  Indeed, we talked so long that I was wondering if we’d end up going back to my place.

Finally, almost 2 hours later, we did.  The initial kissing wasn’t amazing, but it was fine.  But once he started touching me and licking, I was blown away.  He seemed to know just the right pressure and he’s one of a select group of men who have managed to help me along to my 3 different types of orgasms without any real instructions from me.  His cock wasn’t huge but it seemed to work incredibly well and hit me perfectly…so it was an amazing afternoon of good conversation and good sex.  With a guy 17 years younger than me.  I feel so relaxed….

Oh, and his name is the same as Trump Hat Guy’s name…definite upgrade. Hopefully I’ll see him again. He brought it up and I think he meant it. We’ll see.

A couple kind of normal dates. Weird…

I mean, normal within the range of what I usually do – my usual is meeting for a drink or two, maybe a coffee, and then heading back to my place to get naked. But Wednesday I met someone for a quick drink post-Wonder Woman and last night night I met someone for a smoothie and walk…weird.

Granted, the guy on Wednesday is married (open relationship) and is looking for sex partners and we mostly discussed his curiosity about bi-MMF and what he might be willing to do and not. He was attractive, seemed laid back and nice, so our plan is to get together another time and see how our chemistry is. But there was something about it that almost felt more like an interview than a date. Perhaps b/c he was wearing a suit (he had some event earlier).

Last night it was my 3rd(I think) Bumble date. I’m still a Bumble Virgin (giving away the ending), but this guy had me intrigued. He just seemed…interesting. He’s into energy work and therapy, but he’s like an ex-corporate guy and doesn’t give off a new age vibe. He just seems to be self-aware and open.  But he’s moving at the end of the month, so his options are somewhat limited (though I think he legit finds me interesting). So we met and got smoothies and then went for a walk. I was waiting and waiting for him to make a move…I mean, I’ve been super open about my sexual experiences, but he definitely is less experienced, so I didn’t want to make any assumptions about what he was comfortable with.  Finally, he grabbed me and kissed me.  It wasn’t the best kiss I’ve ever had, but it was nice. And I genuinely enjoyed being around him.  So, we’ll see. He’s out of town this weekend, and obviously his time is limited before he moves. I did tell him I was interested in seeing him again and he could just come over to my place if he wanted.

But super weird to have back to back dates that, I think, went well, but there was noting more salacious than kissing and some boob grabbing.

Fucking entitled misogynist liberals

Yesterday morning I work up to a message from this turd.  I saw the message and assumed from the message it was someone I had a good date with and we just lost touch…nope. It was someone I had an awful date with. By last evening, he had messaged again, saying he noticed I had looked at his profile and needed to just get over my fear of how great things could be between us or some such shit.

So I blocked him. I mean, seriously. He’s one of my “I HATE MEN” moments over the past year and he thinks I want to see him again? And that we can have some great romance?

Of course, immediately after that, my Lyft driver started hitting on me and asked me out and couldn’t tell I had ZERO interest. So I reported him to Lyft.

Luckily I had seen Wonder Woman last night and that had mentally prepared me for battle with all these fucking entitled asshats. But I’m so over them.

That weird feeling when you realize your ex-bf has a bf

Back in 2013, I dated a guy for a few months. He was really my last real relationship – as in, we were dating each other, no one else, talked about the future, etc.  It ended because he was in his late 30s and just didn’t seem to know what he wanted from a relationship.
He was great on paper. Successful. Educated. Super super nice. Did lots of charity work.  Attractive. Athletic.  He was also always mistaken for being gay, which I didn’t care about. He talked about it a lot -how much he didn’t care, but how weird it was. I mean, I knew why everyone thought he was gay. He seemed super gay. But he also LOVED my pussy.  I had never seen a guy look at my pussy with such adoration.

Maybe a year ago, he texted me out of the blue.  I got the distinct vibe he was trying to see if I was open to getting back together. I wasn’t. He was a good guy, but only relationship material. He had the smallest penis I’ve ever seen IRL and HUGE balls and I hated how it looked together. And I couldn’t even feel when he was penetrating me (luckily, he was fantastic at oral).

Today FB suggested we should be friends (thanks FB…that’s creepy, but not the point). And I start scrolling thru b/c who wouldn’t. And it’s pretty damn obvious he’s dating a man (and the guy isn’t even hot). I mean, a few pics could be explained away as just friends. And then it became more and more obvious.

And it’s weird. I mean, I LOVE hooking up with bi men. But this, this seemed different. Maybe, in part, b/c the guy he’s dating isn’t attractive to me. Or maybe because I really did think my ex was straight.  I don’t know what it is. But it’s weird. And I feel guilty that I care. I’m not upset. But my world view has been shaken up a bit. At the same time, I am happy for him if he’s happy. And he looks to be. So. Ultimately that’s the most important thing.

Sex is the best

I mean, really, it is. Or can be.  I had a couple weeks of strep throat recovery, low energy, and low libido.  But this weekend I started feeling more normal. I was supposed to meet one guy on Saturday, but I got caught up in work (and he was only available during the day) and I asked if we could meet Sunday. Unfortunately our schedules only lined up for a 1/2 hour or so on Sunday, so I met him. He was attractive. Nicer than I feared he might be. But we didn’t have much time. He said he wanted to meet again, but we’ll see I think we all know about that kind of statement. Could be real…or not.

And Trump Hat Guy had talked about getting together….but, of course, he was a flake. He texted some, but didn’t seem to have any time. So finally, I just told him we shouldn’t be in touch anymore b/c he’s just not that nice to me. And…it felt good to say that. Yes, we have some kind of crazy connection in person. And I do think he legitimately cares about me as much as he can.  But he’s not capable of being a nice person to me other than when we’re actually together. Which is rare. And that’s stupid for me to waste emotional energy on that. So. I’m done. I haven’t heard back. I know I will at some point. I just hope I stay strong.

In between, I was texting a guy I had hooked up with before.  He finally found a place in the city and only lives about a mile from me. But he was traveling a bunch. Then I was sick…and we had finally decided to meet up Tuesday or Wed this week.  On Tuesday at about 4, I heard from hot bi guy who was proposing a 3some for that night with a guy who I had messaged with a bunch a year or so ago, but we had never gotten together b/c, at the time, the guy was really only into group stuff and I didn’t have a group to provide. Unfortunately, he got stuck at work and the 3some didn’t happen on Tuesday and, in the process, I had moved the previous hookup to last night.

So yesterday I was in a bad mood all day. I’m just sick of all the societal misogyny. And sometimes it gets to me. It had gotten to me. For sure. But I was also incredibly horny all day.  I was exhausted, got home late, but still wanted to get laid…so finally he came over around 9:15. He was hotter and in better shape than I remembered. Which is definitely a good surprise. And the chemistry was still so intense. We ended up just making out by my front door for quite awhile when he first arrived. He walks the line between being rough and sensual that I really enjoy.  And he’s ALL about me getting off. As many times as he can get me off. In short, the sex is fantastic. And after…I felt like the sky had opened and I could breathe again. I have more patience, less tension, I’m in a better mood…sex is the best. Really. It is.