Finally a guy older than me…

I haven’t updated much lately because there hasn’t been much to say. I had one of those never-ending colds and couldn’t really make plans. I did have a date a week or so ago, and the flirtation at the bar was rather intense.  I was surprised and impressed when he walked in (I got there a couple minutes before he did) and he kissed me. Nothing too intense, but it exuded confidence and I’m a sucker for confidence. But when we went back to my place, he couldn’t get hard and really didn’t seem interested in trying to make anything work, so…he made some comment about next time being better. And had he contacted me, I would have given him another shot, but he hasn’t contacted me and, well…there wasn’t much reason to try to make something happen.

Last night I went on one of the wild card dates – dates where I figure things can be good or not great. Usually they end up fine.  I had low expectations and barely got my place remotely presentable.  But I showed up and he was far hotter than I expected.  Oh, and he’s also a couple years older than me. First older guy I’ve met since April.  Most older guys don’t want what I do (casual) or they simply are boring to me.  So we sat down at the bar and one of the first things I noticed was his sleeve.  I do love a man with tattoos… And then he told me that I’m one of the only people online that is hotter in person than in the photos I shared. I took that as a good sign 🙂 We actually had a great conversation about travel and photography and then went back to my place.

And this is where I have to say I was really impressed – we had some technical difficulties with condoms.  He’s rather thick and he’d brought some and one broke and the other was having issues.  And so I got some out. We tried a few different types and they all had issues.  But we just laughed and found other things to do.  And it was great. I completely appreciate someone who can roll with the awkwardness that sex sometimes throws at you and not get flustered and still find a way to have fun.

So hopefully we’ll see each other again and have non-awkward sex…







“So…what happens if you really like someone?”

I’ve been asked this by some of the few friends I’ve told what I’m doing (that I’m not interested in a relationship, just FWBs).

The answer is quite simple (to me).  There’s been no one I’ve really liked who is relationship material, so when I do crush on someone, I can enjoy it for what it is – a crush – especially since I have other men to get distracted by.

The even simpler answer is that is a conversation I’d have with someone, if and when it occurs that I like someone in a way where I’m not getting enough from FWBs. And we’d talk about what we both want and figure it out from there.

It’s interesting to me that neither of these seem satisfying as answers.

Is it because we’re told that we’re not really adults until we fall in love and are in a monogamous relationship? Is it because that being single is so unsatisfying? Is it because rom coms always have the strong female being whisked off her feet in some manner?

I feel like it’s more acceptable for someone to say “I will plan my life around the idea of meeting someone (who I haven’t met) and falling in love and being with them forever” than it is to say “I like my life as it is now. I see no compelling reason to change it.” And why is that? Why is it more acceptable to chase the “maybe” than it is to embrace the actual?

So, the better question is, what happens if I decide I want to change my priorities?

Answer…I’ll change them.