Ahhh. Birthday sex

Yesterday was my birthday and I had plans to hang out with a friend, so didn’t think I’d fit birthday sex into the day, so I didn’t even try (though I a number of men I had been messaging, but hadn’t met, offered).  I hadn’t heard from Ass Man since last week, but I wasn’t really worried. I know he’s busy and I made it clear I was.  But I shot him a message yesterday and he promptly responded and asked what I was doing that night – that he had a work thing and would I be available after.

Since the timing of his work thing roughly lined up with my plans, I figured it was worth a shot at seeing him, and getting some good birthday sex. My place was a disaster, but I figured he could just deal. He wasn’t coming over to see my organizational skills…So as I was walking out of dinner to head home, he texts to say his work thing was wrapping up. Perfect. He said he would come over after.

Of course the trains didn’t really cooperate and I ended up walking home from the station that isn’t as close to my place as the one I prefer. Not a big deal, but it was hot and muggy. And then I had to walk my dogs…also hot and muggy. So by the time he got to my place, I had managed to feed my dogs and pick up the most offensive of the mess, but I was sort of drenched in sweat. I wasn’t that worried – our first date had us caught in the rain and he kept saying how hot I looked. But, eh, not ideal.  He, on the other hand, looked amazing. He was in a casual suit and just looked…so fly and so hot. But he didn’t seem to care.

We started making out on my bed and he put his hand on the back of my head as I was sucking him off and he asked why I was so wet.  I had a moment of “crap…sweat is so gross” feeling, but I just said I was sweaty from the train home and walking the dogs and his response was “I like it. It’s hot”…perfect 🙂 Anyway, if possible the sex was even better than the 2 previous times. At least on my end. I don’t think he had any complaints. He hung out for awhile after, just chatting. I do actually like him and I think we’re on the same page re: enjoying being single and not really feeling comfortable in relationships. I told him about the assumptions people at work make about me for being single (I think a lot of people assume I’m a closeted lesbian), and he said he was sure he’d end up in the same boat since he doesn’t see himself ever marrying or being in a LTR serious enough that work people would know her. It was good…

And a good way to usher in a new year. I keep wondering if at some point I just sound too old, but so far, the young guys have zero issue with my age. I’ll probably do a post about aging (and sex) soon. It’s not what I expected when I was younger.

Definitely a fun week

Work has been pretty busy lately and I’ve had a fair amount of stress, so I’ve taken a teeny tiny step back to try to have some fun (I’m writing this between paperwork I have to finish for my real life and work).  I had a surprisingly good date/sex on Wednesday and on Thursday a guy that had grabbed my interest asked about meeting up.  In retrospect (after last night’s date), I’m not sure what it was that I found all that interesting about him. But I had a good gut feel that we would get along.  He was new to online dating and said I was the first person he had even talked to.  We agreed on last night and even tho we were meeting a little later than my morning-self likes to meet (only 8:30, but I’m not a night person!), I didn’t want to reschedule  I wanted to meet.

I told him the part of the city I live in and he suggested my favorite nearby bar, so that seemed to be a good sign.  I got there a couple min before him, found a seat at the bar, and was a little nervous.  He had asked me out before he saw my face (my online pics don’t show my face) and I was a little nervous that after he saw my pics, maybe he didn’t know how to say “I’m not interested” (not that I get that a lot, but it happens, and that’s fine – we’re talking about sex. We need to be attracted to each other).  And in his pics, he looks pretty hot, had a great job, and all around seemed like a guy with options. So when he walked in and after the initial introduction, immediately said “you look good”, I kind of breathed a sigh of relief.  Conversation was easy and, being the awful flirt that I am (or think I am), I was trying to make some contact with my knee against his leg, but I wasn’t getting much physical touch in return, so I was slightly concerned.  But then he suggested we take it to another bar (my favorite was oddly loud), so we decided to go to my 2nd favorite bar down the street. It was already late-ish (for me), like 10:30, but I was really enjoying myself.

I *assumed* he was into me when we were going to the next bar…but it was raining, he didn’t make any attempt to touch me, and I was telling him this story of a bad date where he asked me on a 2nd that interested me in topic, but not in company, and he started to say we should do the date in question…and then stopped himself and just said “you should go do that sometime.” So, mixed signals. But then when we got to the next bar, he became a little more clear. My sundress had a small opening at the low back that he kept touching and when I told him I had never seen Game of Thrones, he invited me to watch it with him any time. So at this point, the question for me was just whether he was going to feel comfortable with sex on a first date or, being new to internet dating, would feel he had to wait. We had a drink and decided to leave, which I was fine with as it was 11:30 or so, but I also was really enjoying talking with him and flirting with him and didn’t want the night to end. (Which, again, weird for me. I like to be asleep by 11:30)

We stepped out of the bar and it was pouring. He asked me what I wanted to do and I said “I don’t mind getting wet”, he agreed, so we started walking towards my place holding hands. And he finally kissed me. I was kind of waiting for it at bar 2, but it was pretty perfect in the rain. He was a very gentle kisser and I started thinking what his lips would feel like elsewhere…along the way, we stopped a few more times to make out and he commented how hot I looked in my dress (at this point, it was totally soaked and clinging everywhere…and I wasn’t wearing a bra).

I still didn’t know if he’d come in when we got to my place, but he made a joke about getting out of his wet clothes and I said “maybe you should”, so…that was that. It was decided.

Of course my dogs and cats decided last night was the night they all wanted cuddles, but he had a good attitude about it and the sex was still hot.  Unlike my usual M/O, I had not discussed with him any particular sexual interests, so I was going into it more blind than usual.  Pretty much right away, he dove into ass play (pretty literally), which I do love, and he was great at it.  So when he asked if I wanted him to fuck my ass, I said yes (which I haven’t done since my 4some).  And…it was amazing.  He was very good at it and I came pretty quickly.  Then we moved along to fucking and oral and more fucking….and finally I had to tell him I was exhausted…so he got dressed into his wet clothes and I decided to stay naked…I was helping him find his socks as he was waiting for the uber, walking ahead of him when he bent me over my bed and started licking me again and then started fucking me and had to cancel his uber.  It was pretty hot. And since I have a long-standing issue of feeling self-conscious about my ass, I liked hearing from him that my ass just looked too delicious and he needed more time with it (he also talked more about how perfect my boobs are, but I’ve never worried that guys don’t like my chest).  So, eventually he actually got an uber and left, we talked about doing this again, I’ve given him my number, we’ve exchanged “last night was fun” texts today…

I still can’t figure out why I thought I’d like him, but it was probably one of the best nights I’ve had in awhile. I am ridiculously tired today, but it was totally worth it.

 

A couple kind of normal dates. Weird…

I mean, normal within the range of what I usually do – my usual is meeting for a drink or two, maybe a coffee, and then heading back to my place to get naked. But Wednesday I met someone for a quick drink post-Wonder Woman and last night night I met someone for a smoothie and walk…weird.

Granted, the guy on Wednesday is married (open relationship) and is looking for sex partners and we mostly discussed his curiosity about bi-MMF and what he might be willing to do and not. He was attractive, seemed laid back and nice, so our plan is to get together another time and see how our chemistry is. But there was something about it that almost felt more like an interview than a date. Perhaps b/c he was wearing a suit (he had some event earlier).

Last night it was my 3rd(I think) Bumble date. I’m still a Bumble Virgin (giving away the ending), but this guy had me intrigued. He just seemed…interesting. He’s into energy work and therapy, but he’s like an ex-corporate guy and doesn’t give off a new age vibe. He just seems to be self-aware and open.  But he’s moving at the end of the month, so his options are somewhat limited (though I think he legit finds me interesting). So we met and got smoothies and then went for a walk. I was waiting and waiting for him to make a move…I mean, I’ve been super open about my sexual experiences, but he definitely is less experienced, so I didn’t want to make any assumptions about what he was comfortable with.  Finally, he grabbed me and kissed me.  It wasn’t the best kiss I’ve ever had, but it was nice. And I genuinely enjoyed being around him.  So, we’ll see. He’s out of town this weekend, and obviously his time is limited before he moves. I did tell him I was interested in seeing him again and he could just come over to my place if he wanted.

But super weird to have back to back dates that, I think, went well, but there was noting more salacious than kissing and some boob grabbing.

I didn’t know nerds could be this hot

A week or so again, OKC alerted me that someone had liked my profile. Normally I can’t see likes on OKC b/c I don’t pay for the service, but once in awhile, OKC wants me to know about one. And once in awhile, I actually look. And once in awhile, I’m actually interested. And sometimes out of that, the person messages me after I like them back.  This was one of those times.

Nerd Boy looked Hot AF in his pics. Like the type of guy who can wear eyeliner and makeup and look hot (not that he was…but I could see it).  And we seemed to really hit it off my messaging.  It was clear he had his choice of women, so I had certain expectations…and then he kind of blew all of them up by letting me know he was into comic books, D&D, and bowling. Um…huh? But I kind of like that. Hot normal guys are fun, but boring. Hot nerdy guy? Bring it on.

We met early on Saturday b/c he had to be up insanely early on Sunday.  I got to the bar a couple minutes before him and was not at all disappointed when he walked in.  However, I don’t know about our chemistry. It was pretty comfortable, lots of laughing, but there was something that seemed like it was preventing full on chemistry. And yet…when he kissed me it was a great great kiss.  It just worked.  So we did end up going back to my place where we had really really great sex.  But…there was that piece that just seemed to be holding back animalistic sex.  Was it lack of chemistry? Lack of trust? I don’t know. I do know I really enjoyed him. And I do know that I thought he was hot AF.  And the average hotness of guys I have fucked recently has been pretty damn high.  (Oddly, the less I have time to give a shit about getting ready to meet someone, the hotter the partners are for sex…hmmm)

So again, I don’t know if we’ll fuck again. I’m happy if we do. Fine if we don’t.  I do have a supposed 3some with the super hot bi guy lined up, so maybe that will play out this week.

And, btw, as a woman who allows myself to be used as a sex object on MY terms (terms that have nothing to do with food), fuck Pence and his fucking attitude that women can’t dine with men. That’s just discrimination. And if I want to fuck someone, food is not necessary (when was the last time I fucked after a meal? I don’t even know).  I’m smarter than most men I work with and have to work twice as hard because men support each other and not women as much…but at least most of those men have the decency not to treat me like all I am is a vagina.

Another big city, small world coincidence…

So I’m texting Cat and he proposes an MMF for this weekend, if I’m available, with a guy he has had sex with and also had an MMF with.  Since this is my #1 fantasy, and since Cat seems like truly a good guy, I say I’ll make myself available.

Then he texts: “So turns out you two have met.”

Ummmmmmm

Cat tells me the guy’s first name. I don’t recognize it. I mean, I recognize it from one guy I didn’t think was bi, search my phone for #s from someone of that name, search my kik…nothing else.

And I text back asking for a pic. And feel stupid b/c the name isn’t that typical. And the whole time I’m thinking “is this someone I rejected? had sex with? what????” And feeling, well, like a slut (ok, yeah, I’m talking about having an MMF, so it’s dumb to get hung up on that, but feelings are feelings).

Finally, what seems like ages later, Cat texts me a pic. And it’s this guy. Which really is the best scenario. He was a good guy. I liked him. It just sort of never happened again for whatever reasons these things don’t, but nothing against him.

Small fucking world.

So, he’s down, I’m down. We’re all down. We’ve all individually been naked with each other. Planets are aligning, maybe.

Since I brought up online dating… 

It seems like I’m noticing more of the ridiculous. These don’t bother me, but people are so clueless.

First, no… That quite literally is a car (I mention that I don’t understand why all the car pics in profiles and they seem like men are compensating). And this guy is quite outside my age range. And eww. 

Second, it’s quite possible (and actually, true story, is the case) that I’m both a real person and find you uninteresting and unattractive (and I still haven’t figured or why it shows me always online, but I figure it’s an app setting I haven’t figured out)

Trump Hat Guy is back…

Ok, admittedly when I said I was done, I was, in my mind, not necessarily forever done. More just, done with not knowing wtf was going on.  And tired of it. Unlike the other guy I got fed up with the same day, who scared me b/c of his anger, THG just was, well, a 27 yr old guy – poor communicator (oh, and last night I learned he’s, um, 26. I don’t know why I thought 27).

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from him… “This sucks”. My response was that it did.  But I don’t have the patience to sit around and wonder if he’s going to text back or show up. That I still liked him, but I’m at a stage in my life where I’m just done with those kinds of games and how they fuck with my head.

I was with a friend and she was asking what I wanted when I responded. I said I didn’t really have an end game other than buying into the Dan Savage theory that you should leave them better than you found them when you’re the older/more experienced person. And I’m clearly stating what I can’t deal with and not trying to hurt him.  So he responded that he likes me too.  And asked if I was free…which I wasn’t (was going to a wedding as my friend’s +1).  Anyway, we had a few more texts that he’s not trying to play games (and I truly didn’t think he was…I just thought he was young, hadn’t learned good communication skills and probably was used to being bitched at whenever something wasn’t perfect, rather than accepting that life isn’t always perfect).  So, I agreed that after I went to the wedding, I would text him.

So I did, and this became sort of a situation of me deciding to trust him, be annoyed, but still keep in mind I wanted to see him. I left the wedding around 10 and told him I was on my way home. He said he was out in a neighborhood relatively close to me with his brother and would come over.  Then I learned that getting his brother to leave the bar was kind of an issue (and, to be fair, I can’t judge this too harshly – his brother has some special needs).  And apparently, unbeknownst to me, THG’s brother insisted that he get driven to get dropped off at some chick’s place 1/2 hour away or more.  Apparently this was sort of a fluid situation and wasn’t the original plan. But, of course, he doesn’t do a good job communicating with me. So, he showed up nearly an hour after he said he would (sigh). He did explain. And we talked about that I just needed explanations most of the times, and silence makes me worse.  And he acknowledged he’s terrible with time and with communication (no surprise), but said he would work on it.

And, I let him stay over. Sex wasn’t as crazy as the past times, but it was still excellent (I was tired).  We have great chemistry and I just like touching him. I didn’t freak out like I did when the other guy stayed over. But I did have trouble falling asleep. I think since I had been up past my usual bedtime, it was made worse. And then I started thinking about sleep, which doesn’t help. Eventually I took a sleeping pill. That knocked me out. But I never felt panicky or wanted him gone. I just wanted to sleep. And I wasn’t annoyed by him in the morning (a big deal to me…I get very annoyed when I wake up and someone is there).

So, we’ll see. He told me he predicted in a month, we’ll be hanging out a few times a week. But we both agreed we suck at relationships, so we’re not going to worry about that.  I guess THG is back…we’ll see how long this lasts.