The downsides of FWBs

One of the downsides of my approach is that often people want more. Or at least want to explore more. For men I’m truly fond of, I am disappointed when that time comes, but I want what will make them happy and I wish them well.

Well, it seems that time has come with Yummy Guy ūüė¶ We messaged yesterday and he’s met someone and wants to see where it goes. In his wonderful way, he was, of course extremely transparent, nice, respectful, and complimentary of me as we were talking about it. Telling me our sex is some of the best he’s ever had (he mentioned this more than once).

I know he’s only been seeing this other woman for 3-4 weeks, so this may not be the end of Yummy Guy as a FWB. He never seemed interested in relationships that were permanent and he sounds like a person happier single than coupled…but you never know. He’s 30. And he’s attractive and successful and nice. At times I wondered if I wanted more from him, but I really didn’t. I wanted what we had. It was perfect. But now I have to say goodbye to it. I can hope that he returns, but can’t expect it.

I did have a date last night with another new guy. He was clearly successful and a really good guy and he was definitely into me. So we’re going to do something tomorrow before he leaves town. He did’t kiss me, so I’m curious about the physical side. But I can see where it goes.

But sigh. Yummy Guy was one I didn’t want to say goodbye to.

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It was almost romantic

I’ve had terrible luck lately with being canceled and ghosted on before meeting…so haven’t had much to write. I did meet a hot 23 yr old on Wednesday who had a beautifully huge dick, and that was fun, but really, I don’t even know what to say about it. Guy was super hot. He seemed mature-ish for his age. Everything about him was beautiful. Sex was good to very good. I don’t know (nor do I really care) if I’ll see him again.

But yesterday I met a guy for brunch, who I’ll call “Tall Guy”, because, well, he’s tall. So we met around noon at a place that has bottomless mimosas. And we just talked for about 4 hours. At first I wasn’t sure if he was interested. He was clearly intelligent and has standards and he wasn’t overly flirty. Then I realized he was kind of a dork. Despite having a very nice face and good job…he’s a nerd. Which is totally fine with me. But it does change the dynamic in terms of how flirty a guy usually is if he’s a nerd.

He finally had to leave because he had to code something or other for the next day and it wasn’t what he usually did or something that I don’t fully understand. So we walked towards his place (which was on the way to mine), and when we got to his corner, he hugged me.¬† Then… we kissed. For awhile. It was the middle of the day on a busy street and we just stood there kissing. It’s been awhile since I did that. And there is something about it that is kinda romantic and sweet. And the kissing was great. In fact, when it ended, he just said “wow. I guess now I have to walk to my place with an erection.” (I’ve had a few guys who I *just* kiss tell me what a great kisser I am. Always nice to hear because there is less feedback for kissing usually, so it’s harder to adjust).

Tall Guy sent me a few more messages yesterday about how much he enjoyed meeting me and wished he wasn’t working. Which was, of course, sweet. And hopefully that means that I’ll see him again. He is traveling some this week/weekend, so it will be another week…and I do like anticipation. So, we’ll see. He’s the type of guy I would enjoy (if the sex is good) as an ongoing FWB bc he’s actually really smart and engaging.

A good end to the year

The week before xmas was crazy at work – it was about an 80-90 hour week.¬† On Wednesday, I got a text from Yummy Guy asking if I could swing by his office (which I’ve never done), but work just didn’t let me get out in time and then he was off to visit family for the holidays (definitely asking for a raincheck on the office sex tho…)

I’d dismissed the young Cub as being creepy after he turned on me and tried to get me to be a Sugar Mama to him. I don’t pay for sex. I don’t need to. I took this week off work and on Wednesday I met up with another young guy who seemed pretty fun and definitely hot.¬† I had a very difficult time judging things with him.¬† He was nice enough, but wasn’t great at eye contact and I wasn’t sure if he was interested. In fact, shortly before we left the bar, I texted a friend while he was in the bathroom and said we wouldn’t be hooking up.¬† But then…he walked with me home. And I let him come in.¬† He was really hot and had a very sexy voice.¬† So we had some drinks and he still made basically no moves on me. When we finished them, I kissed him – figuring he was in my place, so he must be interested. And somehow that ignited chemistry I just didn’t think was there.

What followed was at least a solid hour, if not longer, of pure sex. He had skills beyond his years and had clearly listened to what I said I liked.  His dick was perfectly suited for my g spot and he was quite good with his fingers.  My bed was completely completely soaked at the end. He loved that and I had many orgasms.

I wasn’t quite sure if he might see this as a one time thing (but after the sex, I am definitely game for a continuing thing).¬† But he messaged a bunch yesterday and definitely expressed interest in seeing me again.

Then, on my way to drinks with friends last night, I got a text from Yummy Guy that he was back in town and could he see me that night. Since I was meeting for early drinks, I figured 2 1/2 hours for drinks followed by sex would work perfect (and also worked for him).¬† I offered to go over to his place (I’d never been) since I was out, not too far out of my way from where I thought he lived, and my place is in the midst of being organized and I had stuff all over my bed (I did warn him I didn’t have sexy underwear on for him, but he took me up on the offer of coming over).

He answered in his boxer briefs and tshirt and looked (as always) amazing.¬† I felt a little gross. I’d indulged in nachos at lunch and, well, it’s the holidays.¬† But as he was undressing me, he told me that he was so into my body and absolutely loves it.¬† Right before he said that, I was thinking about how I hate hooking up after wearing jeans b/c I hate the way they cut into my waist…he didn’t seem to care. At all.

So we had (as always) intense sex.¬† And then spent a couple hours talking about just random stuff. About an hour after I got there, he let me know it was his birthday…which made me feel pretty great that he chose me for his birthday night plans ūüôā And he turned down a friend texting him to go out even after we’d had sex. We seem to be in a good rhythm. I’m fine with seeing him a couple/few times a month. He seems equally fine with that. I think we’re on the same page with everything – we genuinely enjoy each other for more than just the sex. But we also seem to just have that chemistry that doesn’t happen often.¬† It was interesting having the back to back great sex. The guy on Wednesday, from a technical perspective, probably was better than Yummy Guy (at least comparing Wednesday to Thursday). But I wasn’t buzzing after seeing him in the same way I was after Yummy Guy.

Hopefully this is a good sign for 2018…

The kind of normal date with a guy who invited me to an orgy…

To be fair, it wasn’t an invitation with an expectation that I would go to an orgy the next day with a guy I had never met.¬† But I think it was a sincere invitation. (The orgy ended up not happening anyway).

Actually, backing up, I had first exchanged messages with this guy about 3 years ago when I first put my my sex-forward profile. We seemed to get along. I liked him. We had plans…and I am pretty sure the first time we canceled, I had a terrible cold.¬† Then we were going to do something again, and I didn’t hear from him and he messaged the next day that he had some kind of phone issue or something. And I don’t know what happened next, but we never met. But I kept seeing him on various dating sites. Sometimes I’d swipe right, but we never matched. So I figured we’d never meet. NBD.¬† Then I was swiping on Feeld a few weeks ago and swiped for him, not realizing it was him (he usually had glasses on in pics, and in the main one, he didn’t).¬† We matched.¬† I sent a simple “hey” or something.¬† Then I looked at all the pics and realized I was pretty sure it was the guy from 3 years earlier.¬† I considered unmatching, but figured I’d let it play out.

A few days later, he messaged back. And we started chatting and I realized, yes, it was definitely the guy from 3 years earlier. I was going to bring it up…then didn’t. In part b/c I found some old emails with him to confirm his name and didn’t want to make it sound like I was stalking him. So, I was sort of standoff-ish.¬† So as not to appear stalker-ish. But he wanted to meet and he still seemed incredibly interesting (and he wears glasses and has a lot of tattoos…I love both).¬† So we made plans to meet. And…last minute, he had a work thing come up. That’s fine. I always give someone one cancellation b/c life happens.

We rescheduled for a Saturday to meet for coffee. And I hear nothing from him until a few hours after we were supposed to meet. He says he has a terrible migraine. I’m skeptical…but it was a crazy weather day and if he really has one, that sucks. So I just wished him well. Nothing more. The next day he messaged me in the morning, apologizing, saying he was available all day, he was sorry, etc etc.¬† But I was boarding a plane. But I did (mostly) believe he was sincere.

So…we schedule something for last week. But I was exhausted and had learned a colleague had committed suicide and I had a horrible headache…I said I’d suck it up so that we could meet, but he offered to reschedule and I took him up on it. So that brings us to Friday, when we were going to meet. But he only had an hour available and I didn’t feel like ubering for 30 min to meet for only an hour, so we decided to move the meeting until last night.

About 30 min before we were supposed to meet, he messages that his dog had gotten sick and he was maybe going to be late. So at this point, I’m skeptical about whether we’d even meet. Then time passes, and passes, and I’m about to send the “I guess this isn’t happening” message, when he messages to say he’s getting into an uber.

So, I walk into the bar, he had messaged he had just arrived, and it’s busy (who are these people who go out on Monday nights???) and I see him…nowhere. And at this point I think he’s fucking with me and I’m pissed, so I message him asking where he is. And he actually was sitting at the end of the bar, his hair is just a different color than in his pics (intentionally so – he’s in the music business, so he can do the crazy hair and tattoo thing). And he’s actually super sweet. And kinda nerdy. And I’m sort of into the combo of rock-n-roll plus nerd. It keeps me from feeling too dorky myself.

So we talked for like 2 hours. And I felt like such a downer b/c I seriously have lost my ability to talk about anything other than politics, my pets, and sex. And somehow we were mostly talking about politics and that’s depressing as hell….But he didn’t yell at me for affirmatively liking Hillary Clinton and he even said something like “she worked super hard to get where she got and the criticism was really unfair.” (which, you know, at that moment I was ready to fuck him right there)

So I eventually have to call it a night bc I go to bed early and it’s a Monday. He walked me most of the way home, but I still couldn’t tell if he was being considerate or interested….so we stop at the corner and he says he had fun. I say I had fun. But who knows the sincerity of any of that. And he leans in for a peck goodnight (which, again, who knows what that means). But…when our lips touch, there’s just…chemistry…and it’s so comfortable. So we kissed a bit more. Nothing too crazy. But I’m pretty sure it was mutual that it just all of a sudden felt really comfortable with him and the kissing was really really nice.

And I woke up this morning to a message from him that I’m a really good kisser and he had fun. So that lead to more messages and we have plans for Friday. Which I think we’re on the same page will be far less innocent than this date was. Stay tuned.

Ahhh. Birthday sex

Yesterday was my birthday and I had plans to hang out with a friend, so didn’t think I’d fit birthday sex into the day, so I didn’t even try (though I a number of men I had been messaging, but hadn’t met, offered). ¬†I hadn’t heard from Ass Man¬†since last week, but I wasn’t really worried. I know he’s busy and I made it clear I was. ¬†But I shot him a message yesterday and he promptly responded and asked what I was doing that night – that he had a work thing and would I be available after.

Since the timing of his work thing roughly lined up with my plans, I figured it was worth a shot at seeing him, and getting some good birthday sex. My place was a disaster, but I figured he could just deal. He wasn’t coming over to see my organizational skills…So as I was walking out of dinner to head home, he texts to say his work thing was wrapping up. Perfect. He said he would come over after.

Of course the trains didn’t really cooperate and I ended up walking home from the station that isn’t as close to my place as the one I prefer. Not a big deal, but it was hot and muggy. And then I had to walk my dogs…also hot and muggy. So by the time he got to my place, I had managed to feed my dogs and pick up the most offensive of the mess, but I was sort of drenched in sweat. I wasn’t that worried – our first date had us caught in the rain and he kept saying how hot I looked. But, eh, not ideal. ¬†He, on the other hand, looked amazing. He was in a casual suit and just looked…so fly and so hot. But he didn’t seem to care.

We started making out on my bed and he put his hand on the back of my head as I was sucking him off and he asked why I was so wet. ¬†I had a moment of “crap…sweat is so gross” feeling, but I just said I was sweaty from the train home and walking the dogs and his response was “I like it. It’s hot”…perfect ūüôā Anyway, if possible the sex was even better than the 2 previous times. At least on my end. I don’t think he had any complaints. He hung out for awhile after, just chatting. I do actually like him and I think we’re on the same page re: enjoying being single and not really feeling comfortable in relationships. I told him about the assumptions people at work make about me for being single (I think a lot of people assume I’m a closeted lesbian), and he said he was sure he’d end up in the same boat since he doesn’t see himself ever marrying or being in a LTR serious enough that work people would know her. It was good…

And a good way to usher in a new year. I keep wondering if at some point I just sound too old, but so far, the young guys have zero issue with my age. I’ll probably do a post about aging (and sex) soon. It’s not what I expected when I was younger.

Definitely a fun week

Work has been pretty busy lately and I’ve had a fair amount of stress, so I’ve taken a teeny tiny step back to try to have some fun (I’m writing this between paperwork I have to finish for my real life and work). ¬†I had a surprisingly good date/sex on Wednesday¬†and on Thursday a guy that had grabbed my interest asked about meeting up. ¬†In retrospect (after last night’s date), I’m not sure what it was that I found all that interesting about him. But I had a good gut feel that we would get along. ¬†He was new to online dating and said I was the first person he had even talked to. ¬†We agreed on last night and even tho we were meeting a little later than my morning-self likes to meet (only 8:30, but I’m not a night person!), I didn’t want to reschedule ¬†I wanted to meet.

I told him the part of the city I live in and he suggested my favorite nearby bar, so that seemed to be a good sign. ¬†I got there a couple min before him, found a seat at the bar, and was a little nervous. ¬†He had asked me out before he saw my face (my online pics don’t show my face) and I was a little nervous that after he saw my pics, maybe he didn’t know how to say “I’m not interested” (not that I get that a lot, but it happens, and that’s fine – we’re talking about sex. We need to be attracted to each other). ¬†And in his pics, he looks pretty hot, had a great job, and all around seemed like a guy with options. So when he walked in and after the initial introduction, immediately said “you look good”, I kind of breathed a sigh of relief. ¬†Conversation was easy and, being the awful flirt that I am (or think I am), I was trying to make some contact with my knee against his leg, but I wasn’t getting much physical touch in return, so I was slightly concerned. ¬†But then he suggested we take it to another bar (my favorite was oddly loud), so we decided to go to my 2nd favorite bar down the street. It was already late-ish (for me), like 10:30, but I was really enjoying myself.

I *assumed* he was into me when we were going to the next bar…but it was raining, he didn’t make any attempt to touch me, and I was telling him this story of a bad date where he asked me on a 2nd that interested me in topic, but not in company, and he started to say we should do the date in question…and then stopped himself and just said “you should go do that sometime.” So, mixed signals. But then when we got to the next bar, he became a little more clear. My sundress had a small opening at the low back that he kept touching and when I told him I had never seen Game of Thrones, he invited me to watch it with him any time. So at this point, the question for me was just whether he was going to feel comfortable with sex on a first date or, being new to internet dating, would feel he had to wait. We had a drink and decided to leave, which I was fine with as it was 11:30 or so, but I also was really enjoying talking with him and flirting with him and didn’t want the night to end. (Which, again, weird for me. I like to be asleep by 11:30)

We stepped out of the bar and it was pouring. He asked me what I wanted to do and I said “I don’t mind getting wet”, he agreed, so we started walking towards my place holding hands. And he finally kissed me. I was kind of waiting for it at bar 2, but it was pretty perfect in the rain. He was a very gentle kisser and I started thinking what his lips would feel like elsewhere…along the way, we stopped a few more times to make out and he commented how hot I looked in my dress (at this point, it was totally soaked and clinging everywhere…and I wasn’t wearing a bra).

I still didn’t know if he’d come in when we got to my place, but he made a joke about getting out of his wet clothes and I said “maybe you should”, so…that was that. It was decided.

Of course my dogs and cats decided last night was the night they all wanted cuddles, but he had a good attitude about it and the sex was still hot. ¬†Unlike my usual M/O, I had not discussed with him any particular sexual interests, so I was going into it more blind than usual. ¬†Pretty much right away, he dove into ass play (pretty literally), which I do love, and he was great at it. ¬†So when he asked if I wanted him to fuck my ass, I said yes (which I haven’t done since my 4some). ¬†And…it was amazing. ¬†He was very good at it and I came pretty quickly. ¬†Then we moved along to fucking and oral and more fucking….and finally I had to tell him I was exhausted…so he got dressed into his wet clothes and I decided to stay naked…I was helping him find his socks as he was waiting for the uber, walking ahead of him when he bent me over my bed and started licking me again and then started fucking me and had to cancel his uber. ¬†It was pretty hot. And since I have a long-standing issue of feeling self-conscious about my ass, I liked hearing from him that my ass just looked too delicious and he needed more time with it (he also talked more about how perfect my boobs are, but I’ve never worried that guys don’t like my chest). ¬†So, eventually he actually got an uber and left, we talked about doing this again, I’ve given him my number, we’ve exchanged “last night was fun” texts today…

I still can’t figure out why I thought I’d like him, but it was probably one of the best nights I’ve had in awhile. I am ridiculously tired today, but it was totally worth it.

 

A couple kind of normal dates. Weird…

I mean, normal within the range of what I usually do – my usual is meeting for a drink or two, maybe a coffee, and then heading back to my place to get naked. But Wednesday I met someone for a quick drink post-Wonder Woman and last night night I met someone for a smoothie and walk…weird.

Granted, the guy on Wednesday is married (open relationship) and is looking for sex partners and we mostly discussed his curiosity about bi-MMF and what he might be willing to do and not. He was attractive, seemed laid back and nice, so our plan is to get together another time and see how our chemistry is. But there was something about it that almost felt more like an interview than a date. Perhaps b/c he was wearing a suit (he had some event earlier).

Last night it was my 3rd(I think) Bumble date. I’m still a Bumble Virgin (giving away the ending), but this guy had me intrigued. He just seemed…interesting. He’s into energy work and therapy, but he’s like an ex-corporate guy and doesn’t give off a new age vibe. He just seems to be self-aware and open. ¬†But he’s moving at the end of the month, so his options are somewhat limited (though I think he legit finds me interesting). So we met and got smoothies and then went for a walk. I was waiting and waiting for him to make a move…I mean, I’ve been super open about my sexual experiences, but he definitely is less experienced, so I didn’t want to make any assumptions about what he was comfortable with. ¬†Finally, he grabbed me and kissed me. ¬†It wasn’t the best kiss I’ve ever had, but it was nice. And I genuinely enjoyed being around him. ¬†So, we’ll see. He’s out of town this weekend, and obviously his time is limited before he moves. I did tell him I was interested in seeing him again and he could just come over to my place if he wanted.

But super weird to have back to back dates that, I think, went well, but there was noting more salacious than kissing and some boob grabbing.