Yummy guy is always worth it…

Last night I saw Yummy guy again.  I don’t know what it is about him.  The sex is certainly very very very good.  But it’s not the best I’ve ever had.  But he’s just so damn perfect as an escape from life. When he walks in the door, there’s no awkwardness really…we just end up making out and usually having sex pretty quickly from there. Last night was no exception – we started with sex about 2 feet from my front door. Eventually made it to my bedroom. It was definitely a nothing fancy sexually kind of night. But it didn’t need to be. Sometimes efficient and intense is what is needed.

Why do I like him…first, he’s hot. I’ve mentioned this.  He’s not really my usual type, but there’s not doubt he’s hot.  And his body….oddly, I’m obsessed with his neck. Not a body part I usually focus on, but his neck just looks so strong without being too thick or weirdly out of proportion.  And his arms.  And, well, he just has an amazing body. And yet he seems to enjoy mine quite a bit. Second, he’s charming. He’s *just* sarcastic enough to not be boring, but not so sarcastic as to be mean. He seems genuinely fascinated by weirdness in the world. Genuinely nice. So we usually talk for an hour or so after sex. And the conversation is good. It’s part of the fun with him. Some guys I truly wouldn’t care if they showed up, fucked me, and left. In fact, I’ve had that type of set up before. With him…I want him to stay and talk.

So I get asked by friends if I want something more from him…I don’t think so. This is kind of perfect. He’s like a yummy dessert…something I theoretically want to dive into and gorge myself on, but I know if I had it too often, it would become routine and less yummy.

That said, if he ended things, I would be disappointed. I’m not done with him yet. I don’t think he’s done with me either since he asked me yesterday by text if I’d be open to another guy or guys joining us…which I said I was, since I obviously have enjoyed that in the past. I forgot to talk with him about that last night, so we’ll see.

 

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Mmmm…Evening with yummy guy

I have renamed “Ass Man” into Yummy Guy because, well, I find him so unbelievably yummy. He somehow is incredibly hot and sexy and still has the sweetness of a puppy. He’s a perfect fuck buddy. He makes me feel incredibly sexy and interesting and I still am fucking someone who I would have thought was out of my league. It’s perfect.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen him for awhile. We had exchanged some texts about meeting up, but he was swamped with work. Then I was buried with work…but my stuff was kicked into December yesterday afternoon and I immediately thought of him. So while I was still on the conference call about arrangements for work, I texted him. He texted back immediately and said he was thinking about me (whether he was or not, I appreciate that type of response).  So he suggested last night and I was game.

He asked (if I was willing), could I put on some lingerie and he had a thing for thigh highs…So I put on some fishnet thigh highs, and some very classy, but very sexy lingerie, and met him at the door in an oversize man’s shirt and that. He appreciated that. Very much. After weeks of eating shit food at the office and not working out and feeling gross, I very much appreciated the way he looked at me. And, well, he looked hot AF.  We went to my kitchen where I was going to pour us drinks, but ended up with his cock in my mouth and then fucking in the kitchen before I could do pour anything. We then went to my bedroom where he asked me to put a butt plug in while he fucked me (which I love…and that definitely made anal later on a lot easier to get into more quickly, though he is the best at anal).

After, we hung out a bit talking. I truly do enjoy just talking to him. At one point, he went to my bathroom and I could hear him talking int here and was confused – he went in naked and I didn’t think his phone would be in the bathroom. Turns out he was talking to my cat who happened to be in there (this is the part where he has the sweetness of a puppy). Too cute.

Two times in a week…we’ll see what happens next…

On Monday, I got a text from last friday’s hottie (who I guess deserves a name now…I guess Ass Guy). He asked if I could get together Tuesday or Wednesday after work.  It surprised me b/c he’d made it clear earlier that he didn’t like weeknight plans, so I guess he *really* liked the sex. Which, of course, made me nervous. But I also wanted to see him, so he came over Wednesday.

I offered him a beer and we sat down on my couch…which lasted all of about 2 minutes before we were making out, I was soon naked, he followed soon after and his fingers and tongue gave me an amazing orgasm.  After that, we headed to my bedroom where I had gotten a bunch of toys out…which we ended up ignoring b/c we were so focused on each other. He actually apologized for that, which was pretty funny. I just got them out b/c he asked for them, I’m perfectly capable of toy-less sex. And I definitely did enjoy it.  He’s so freaking yummy and I love how he smells.

After sex, we hung out talking a bit about books and travel and my dogs jumped up on bed…(and he wasn’t weirded out that they were on the bed). So, of course, I’ve spent the last couple days crushing on him. He did make it clear that he wants to see me again, and I would be down for something regular with him.

But in the meantime, I have a date tonight with a new guy I’ve been messaging for awhile. My birthday is Tuesday, and I’m also interested to see if a new age range changes who contacts me.

 

The Frustration of Being Told by Feminists that I don’t Really Control My Own Sex Choices

Today I was told that prostitution and porn aren’t sex and women can’t consent to them by a friend who is a feminist.

And, while I absolutely understand the concerns about sex trafficking and always elevate those from a policy perspective above all else, I refuse to accept that I couldn’t go out and charge money to have sex with me. I mean, I’ve had sex that was less exciting than other sex. And I’ve had sex that wasn’t what I expected it to be. And I’ve had boring sex. And I’ve had sex to get out of an awkward situation.  All of those were my choice. I have been raped. I know the difference. There is an enormous difference between being mid-fuck and thinking “I would much rather be sleeping right now, but I’ll power through it” and doing what has to be done to stay alive. So, if I wanted to have boring sex and get paid for it, eh…that’s my choice. I have options in life.

But yet…I frequently encounter women I admire, smart women, capable women, women who are well-educated, etc who are around my age…who give me parameters that have to be met for sex to be valid. For sex to be something that isn’t about the patriarchy. Some things I agree with – like consent – but others, like a loving environment….not so much. I’ve had in-love sex. It’s fantastic. I have also had raunch, kinky, not-remotely-in-love sex with men who I don’t even for sure know their names…and that’s also fantastic. But different.

If you did away with the patriarchy and religion, there would be zero reason why we’d raise an eyebrow at any adult’s safe sexual choices, whether or not money was involved, as long as everyone involved was able to and did consent. Yet those trying to smash the patriarchy often perpetuate it by saying there is a right and a wrong way to have sex.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a shit on feminists post. It is more a post about what many feminists unquestionably accept – that only men control sex outside of a loving relationship.  And in doing that, women like me are infantilized. And that has scary implications.

 

Trump Hat Guy is back…

Ok, admittedly when I said I was done, I was, in my mind, not necessarily forever done. More just, done with not knowing wtf was going on.  And tired of it. Unlike the other guy I got fed up with the same day, who scared me b/c of his anger, THG just was, well, a 27 yr old guy – poor communicator (oh, and last night I learned he’s, um, 26. I don’t know why I thought 27).

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from him… “This sucks”. My response was that it did.  But I don’t have the patience to sit around and wonder if he’s going to text back or show up. That I still liked him, but I’m at a stage in my life where I’m just done with those kinds of games and how they fuck with my head.

I was with a friend and she was asking what I wanted when I responded. I said I didn’t really have an end game other than buying into the Dan Savage theory that you should leave them better than you found them when you’re the older/more experienced person. And I’m clearly stating what I can’t deal with and not trying to hurt him.  So he responded that he likes me too.  And asked if I was free…which I wasn’t (was going to a wedding as my friend’s +1).  Anyway, we had a few more texts that he’s not trying to play games (and I truly didn’t think he was…I just thought he was young, hadn’t learned good communication skills and probably was used to being bitched at whenever something wasn’t perfect, rather than accepting that life isn’t always perfect).  So, I agreed that after I went to the wedding, I would text him.

So I did, and this became sort of a situation of me deciding to trust him, be annoyed, but still keep in mind I wanted to see him. I left the wedding around 10 and told him I was on my way home. He said he was out in a neighborhood relatively close to me with his brother and would come over.  Then I learned that getting his brother to leave the bar was kind of an issue (and, to be fair, I can’t judge this too harshly – his brother has some special needs).  And apparently, unbeknownst to me, THG’s brother insisted that he get driven to get dropped off at some chick’s place 1/2 hour away or more.  Apparently this was sort of a fluid situation and wasn’t the original plan. But, of course, he doesn’t do a good job communicating with me. So, he showed up nearly an hour after he said he would (sigh). He did explain. And we talked about that I just needed explanations most of the times, and silence makes me worse.  And he acknowledged he’s terrible with time and with communication (no surprise), but said he would work on it.

And, I let him stay over. Sex wasn’t as crazy as the past times, but it was still excellent (I was tired).  We have great chemistry and I just like touching him. I didn’t freak out like I did when the other guy stayed over. But I did have trouble falling asleep. I think since I had been up past my usual bedtime, it was made worse. And then I started thinking about sleep, which doesn’t help. Eventually I took a sleeping pill. That knocked me out. But I never felt panicky or wanted him gone. I just wanted to sleep. And I wasn’t annoyed by him in the morning (a big deal to me…I get very annoyed when I wake up and someone is there).

So, we’ll see. He told me he predicted in a month, we’ll be hanging out a few times a week. But we both agreed we suck at relationships, so we’re not going to worry about that.  I guess THG is back…we’ll see how long this lasts.

A dick in the hand is worth 2 in the bush…or something like that

I’ve known for ages that 4th of July weekend would require a lot of work work on my part b/c of my schedule.  It was bound to happen and I made no solid plans.  But I have been hoping to see Trump Hat Guy.  But I’m getting mixed messages…kind of stand-offish (or busy and sick? as he claimed) during the week. Booty call text Friday night that I missed. Very very very hot texts yesterday. I don’t know. He’s a 27 yr old guy. They aren’t exactly known for being the best at clear communication and I’m not really worried he’s not interested. I do think the possibility might exist that he’s avoiding me because he’s not sure how he feels about me. Or maybe he’s busy. I keep reminding myself — time will tell. I won’t play games. Takes too much energy. And if that’s a problem, oh well. He is/was fun.

But I did get a text Friday that Superman, one of my favorite partners, was going to be working in my area on Saturday and would get off work around 2…So of course I said I’d love to see him. And it did not disappoint. He needed a shower when we got to my place and I obviously got in with him…and it was very very very fun.  When we got out, we moved to my bed where I proceeded to soak it (indeed, it was still wet when I went to bed).  He’s just a really really fun partner and I have no feelings beyond “fuck, he’s hot and his tongue is maybe the most talented tongue I’ve experienced”.  When THG texted me later, I told him that someone had just left…which he found very very hot (part of why I like him).
So, basically, I need to focus and get work done. I have 2-3 guys I might see tomorrow if I have time (I won’t see all 3. Maybe if I went crazy, 2).  And whoever of them is the sure thing will probably get the nod. It’s difficult to not make space for THG if he booty calls me again…but…we’ll figure this shit out if it’s meant to be figured out. In the meantime, I had great sex yesterday. That works.

A weekend of exactly what I expected and not so much…

Ok, I’ll get the boring out of the way first.  So, for the past year+, I’ve occasionally exchanged messages with a guy who I just couldn’t cut off the potential list entirely, but he didn’t entice me enough to really try to meet. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was physically my type. And he seemed nice enough. But I guess he just seemed a little bit more selfish than I typically like in a hookup. But…nothing was concrete in realm. It was just a sense I got.  For whatever reason, I messaged him last week and we decided we could meet up on Saturday.  I had a haircut, he had a friend coming in town, so time was limited. And, I’ll be honest, I ran errands and stuff and didn’t try to maximize the time we had.  While I’m typically not a fan of just going over to a guy’s place, we had messaged enough, and he had been chill enough, that I decided it was fine.  So I did….and he was exactly what I expected physically (a good thing).  We chatted a bit and started hooking up…and it was fine. But nothing great.  He seemed more interested in my giving him a blow job than me having a fun time (I mean, I do give good head, so I can respect the desire, but come on…).  He wasn’t rude about it. I just left like….meh. That was exactly what I expected. It was kind of fun, but not really fun, and I don’t regret putting him off for so long. Oh well.

But I had fun plans lined up for Saturday…which totally morphed.  Originally I had been chatting with two bi-curious/leaning/interested guys separately. What they were saying they were into was so similar that I decided to throw out a 3sum meetup for Sunday. They were both in.  Guy #1 was messaging all weekend how excited he was. Guy #2 starts messaging late morning on Sunday…I put them in a group chat and they seem to be totally hitting it off…Then Guy #1 has to deal with a towed car situation (his car was apparently towed the night before). And he’s not sure he can make it.  So…I offer to Guy #2 that I could message Trump Hat Guy b/c he’s bi-ish.  I didn’t actually expect to hear back from THG b/c I hadn’t heard from him in a couple weeks (we had had plans to meet up, but he was stuck at his parents’ house for Father’s day…and then just nothing).  But to my surprise, he responded almost immediately that he was thinking about me, he’s interested, he thought I was mad at him…Anyway, he’s interested in the situation, but nervous about whether he’d be into Guy #2.  Due to Pride Parade traffic, Guy #2 gets to my place no problem. THG gets stuck and it takes forever.  Guy #2 is nice. But meh. He’s a good bit chubbier than his photo and I have kind of zero desire to fuck him.  I might be able to do it if he brought a hot 3rd to the table…but I knew THG wasn’t going to be interested. So, we have a beer, chat a bit. And finally I find a way of saying that I really don’t see it being a good fit and I wasn’t comfortable. He asked if he should leave and I said yes.  I hate doing that, but it’s got to be done sometimes.  Not a minute after he leaves, THG arrives.  And he kisses me and it’s like fireworks all around.  We do have great chemistry.  So we sit down, talk awhile. We talk very very easily and comfortably.

At some point, we head to my bedroom where, of course, the sex is amazing. I mean, it’s incredible. And then we hung out and talked some more, playing some with my dogs, and then head back to my kitchen to eat something.  So, all told, he was at my place nearly 4 hours and we probably had sex for an hour or less. We talked the rest of the time.  He told me there is nothing about me he doesn’t like.  I like him.  And what the fuck! He’s 27 and voted for Trump in the primary (admits he may not in the General). I mentioned voting for Bill Clinton in my first election and joked he must have been 2 at the time…no…he was fucking 3 yrs old. Not 2. 3!  He assured me age doesn’t matter to him.  He mentions possibly meeting his brother. And like, I’m still interested. One thing I have managed to do for years is be in control of my crushes. If I don’t hear from someone, no big deal b/c there are tons of guys out there. And…I actually want to hear from THG. Not just to have sex (which I do want to have lots and lots of sex with him), but also because he interests me. He’s wicked smart, but he sees the world through a different set of lenses than I do…but it is a considered set of lenses (believe it or not), and I get curious how he gets there.  But then I talked to him about why a lot of older feminists are rather strident and the types of sexual harassment I have faced in my career…and he totally took the information in and was shocked that things that I took as “normal” actually happened.  So he’s not dismissive of such things, just underinformed. And open to info.

So fuck me. I actually like like a guy. And it happens to be a 27 yr old Trump supporter. Of all fucking people. We’ll see. As I told a friend, if he ends up being terrible, I can console myself that he’s a Trump supporter and 27.  And if he’s great, I suppose this is the fun plot twist that a Hulu Television Original based on my like would throw into the mix.