A good end to the year

The week before xmas was crazy at work – it was about an 80-90 hour week.  On Wednesday, I got a text from Yummy Guy asking if I could swing by his office (which I’ve never done), but work just didn’t let me get out in time and then he was off to visit family for the holidays (definitely asking for a raincheck on the office sex tho…)

I’d dismissed the young Cub as being creepy after he turned on me and tried to get me to be a Sugar Mama to him. I don’t pay for sex. I don’t need to. I took this week off work and on Wednesday I met up with another young guy who seemed pretty fun and definitely hot.  I had a very difficult time judging things with him.  He was nice enough, but wasn’t great at eye contact and I wasn’t sure if he was interested. In fact, shortly before we left the bar, I texted a friend while he was in the bathroom and said we wouldn’t be hooking up.  But then…he walked with me home. And I let him come in.  He was really hot and had a very sexy voice.  So we had some drinks and he still made basically no moves on me. When we finished them, I kissed him – figuring he was in my place, so he must be interested. And somehow that ignited chemistry I just didn’t think was there.

What followed was at least a solid hour, if not longer, of pure sex. He had skills beyond his years and had clearly listened to what I said I liked.  His dick was perfectly suited for my g spot and he was quite good with his fingers.  My bed was completely completely soaked at the end. He loved that and I had many orgasms.

I wasn’t quite sure if he might see this as a one time thing (but after the sex, I am definitely game for a continuing thing).  But he messaged a bunch yesterday and definitely expressed interest in seeing me again.

Then, on my way to drinks with friends last night, I got a text from Yummy Guy that he was back in town and could he see me that night. Since I was meeting for early drinks, I figured 2 1/2 hours for drinks followed by sex would work perfect (and also worked for him).  I offered to go over to his place (I’d never been) since I was out, not too far out of my way from where I thought he lived, and my place is in the midst of being organized and I had stuff all over my bed (I did warn him I didn’t have sexy underwear on for him, but he took me up on the offer of coming over).

He answered in his boxer briefs and tshirt and looked (as always) amazing.  I felt a little gross. I’d indulged in nachos at lunch and, well, it’s the holidays.  But as he was undressing me, he told me that he was so into my body and absolutely loves it.  Right before he said that, I was thinking about how I hate hooking up after wearing jeans b/c I hate the way they cut into my waist…he didn’t seem to care. At all.

So we had (as always) intense sex.  And then spent a couple hours talking about just random stuff. About an hour after I got there, he let me know it was his birthday…which made me feel pretty great that he chose me for his birthday night plans 🙂 And he turned down a friend texting him to go out even after we’d had sex. We seem to be in a good rhythm. I’m fine with seeing him a couple/few times a month. He seems equally fine with that. I think we’re on the same page with everything – we genuinely enjoy each other for more than just the sex. But we also seem to just have that chemistry that doesn’t happen often.  It was interesting having the back to back great sex. The guy on Wednesday, from a technical perspective, probably was better than Yummy Guy (at least comparing Wednesday to Thursday). But I wasn’t buzzing after seeing him in the same way I was after Yummy Guy.

Hopefully this is a good sign for 2018…

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Chemistry…what is it? (I don’t have a scientific answer, just observations)

This week, oddly, has turned into a somewhat busy week with different men. It’s been a crazy busy week, but sometimes things just line up.

On Saturday, I saw a guy I’ve hooked up with in a 3some (the teacher). He’s a nice guy. Nice face. Lovely, big cock. And he is really really into and good at oral. But my feelings about him are…meh.  I haven’t really gone out of my way to hook up with him since the 3some in March, but I haven’t cut him off either. He’s perfectly nice and there’s nothing that wrong with him (compared to most men I hook up with, his body ain’t great, but given his beautiful cock, it’s sort of a wash). BUT…I’ve been super busy, had a few weeks of men disappearing when it came time to meet, and he was willing to work around my schedule, didn’t care I had my period, and I knew that I wouldn’t have to talk to him/spend much time with him.

So he came over Saturday morning and, as predicted, it was technically excellent oral (although I did have my period, I had a Soft Cup  in, and I’m not even sure he realized I was still on my period. Since I had told him I would be, I didn’t feel the need to mention it again), ok fucking, and he was nice, but left as soon as sex was over. It kind of scratched an itch and I went on with my day.

Monday I had the very nice date with Rocker Guy , which ended with a kiss where I just wanted to melt into him…now that’s chemistry.  And yesterday, Yummy Guy came over and it was just so good. Sex with him is really really good. I think it keeps getting better, too. But, like last night, after I came more times than I could count, he started to fuck my ass. At this point, I kind of knew that I wouldn’t come again…so I didn’t bother to do what I’d usually do during anal (use a toy on my clit – that gives a really intense orgasm that is different than clit alone). I was ok not coming again.  So at this point, I wasn’t really getting anything out of anal, but there was something about that level of closeness that was really really intense and fun. And I can honestly say I enjoyed that, which didn’t get me off at that point, way more than I enjoyed technically excellent oral with the Teacher guy.

So what is it? Why did the Teacher Guy do a lot of things technically right and is still an afterthought compared to these other two? I’m in my 40s and still don’t understand why some people are just people I have chemistry with. And some…I just don’t. It has been fun to realize I can have chemistry with multiple people and that I can have the gushy feeling with more than one guy in a week.

I’m supposed to see Rocker guy tomorrow, and I assume we’ll have sex, so it will be an interesting comparison with Yummy Guy. I’ve got to say though, I am really excited about some of my options at the moment!

Yummy guy is always worth it…

Last night I saw Yummy guy again.  I don’t know what it is about him.  The sex is certainly very very very good.  But it’s not the best I’ve ever had.  But he’s just so damn perfect as an escape from life. When he walks in the door, there’s no awkwardness really…we just end up making out and usually having sex pretty quickly from there. Last night was no exception – we started with sex about 2 feet from my front door. Eventually made it to my bedroom. It was definitely a nothing fancy sexually kind of night. But it didn’t need to be. Sometimes efficient and intense is what is needed.

Why do I like him…first, he’s hot. I’ve mentioned this.  He’s not really my usual type, but there’s not doubt he’s hot.  And his body….oddly, I’m obsessed with his neck. Not a body part I usually focus on, but his neck just looks so strong without being too thick or weirdly out of proportion.  And his arms.  And, well, he just has an amazing body. And yet he seems to enjoy mine quite a bit. Second, he’s charming. He’s *just* sarcastic enough to not be boring, but not so sarcastic as to be mean. He seems genuinely fascinated by weirdness in the world. Genuinely nice. So we usually talk for an hour or so after sex. And the conversation is good. It’s part of the fun with him. Some guys I truly wouldn’t care if they showed up, fucked me, and left. In fact, I’ve had that type of set up before. With him…I want him to stay and talk.

So I get asked by friends if I want something more from him…I don’t think so. This is kind of perfect. He’s like a yummy dessert…something I theoretically want to dive into and gorge myself on, but I know if I had it too often, it would become routine and less yummy.

That said, if he ended things, I would be disappointed. I’m not done with him yet. I don’t think he’s done with me either since he asked me yesterday by text if I’d be open to another guy or guys joining us…which I said I was, since I obviously have enjoyed that in the past. I forgot to talk with him about that last night, so we’ll see.

 

Mmmm…Evening with yummy guy

I have renamed “Ass Man” into Yummy Guy because, well, I find him so unbelievably yummy. He somehow is incredibly hot and sexy and still has the sweetness of a puppy. He’s a perfect fuck buddy. He makes me feel incredibly sexy and interesting and I still am fucking someone who I would have thought was out of my league. It’s perfect.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen him for awhile. We had exchanged some texts about meeting up, but he was swamped with work. Then I was buried with work…but my stuff was kicked into December yesterday afternoon and I immediately thought of him. So while I was still on the conference call about arrangements for work, I texted him. He texted back immediately and said he was thinking about me (whether he was or not, I appreciate that type of response).  So he suggested last night and I was game.

He asked (if I was willing), could I put on some lingerie and he had a thing for thigh highs…So I put on some fishnet thigh highs, and some very classy, but very sexy lingerie, and met him at the door in an oversize man’s shirt and that. He appreciated that. Very much. After weeks of eating shit food at the office and not working out and feeling gross, I very much appreciated the way he looked at me. And, well, he looked hot AF.  We went to my kitchen where I was going to pour us drinks, but ended up with his cock in my mouth and then fucking in the kitchen before I could do pour anything. We then went to my bedroom where he asked me to put a butt plug in while he fucked me (which I love…and that definitely made anal later on a lot easier to get into more quickly, though he is the best at anal).

After, we hung out a bit talking. I truly do enjoy just talking to him. At one point, he went to my bathroom and I could hear him talking int here and was confused – he went in naked and I didn’t think his phone would be in the bathroom. Turns out he was talking to my cat who happened to be in there (this is the part where he has the sweetness of a puppy). Too cute.

Two times in a week…we’ll see what happens next…

On Monday, I got a text from last friday’s hottie (who I guess deserves a name now…I guess Ass Guy). He asked if I could get together Tuesday or Wednesday after work.  It surprised me b/c he’d made it clear earlier that he didn’t like weeknight plans, so I guess he *really* liked the sex. Which, of course, made me nervous. But I also wanted to see him, so he came over Wednesday.

I offered him a beer and we sat down on my couch…which lasted all of about 2 minutes before we were making out, I was soon naked, he followed soon after and his fingers and tongue gave me an amazing orgasm.  After that, we headed to my bedroom where I had gotten a bunch of toys out…which we ended up ignoring b/c we were so focused on each other. He actually apologized for that, which was pretty funny. I just got them out b/c he asked for them, I’m perfectly capable of toy-less sex. And I definitely did enjoy it.  He’s so freaking yummy and I love how he smells.

After sex, we hung out talking a bit about books and travel and my dogs jumped up on bed…(and he wasn’t weirded out that they were on the bed). So, of course, I’ve spent the last couple days crushing on him. He did make it clear that he wants to see me again, and I would be down for something regular with him.

But in the meantime, I have a date tonight with a new guy I’ve been messaging for awhile. My birthday is Tuesday, and I’m also interested to see if a new age range changes who contacts me.

 

The Frustration of Being Told by Feminists that I don’t Really Control My Own Sex Choices

Today I was told that prostitution and porn aren’t sex and women can’t consent to them by a friend who is a feminist.

And, while I absolutely understand the concerns about sex trafficking and always elevate those from a policy perspective above all else, I refuse to accept that I couldn’t go out and charge money to have sex with me. I mean, I’ve had sex that was less exciting than other sex. And I’ve had sex that wasn’t what I expected it to be. And I’ve had boring sex. And I’ve had sex to get out of an awkward situation.  All of those were my choice. I have been raped. I know the difference. There is an enormous difference between being mid-fuck and thinking “I would much rather be sleeping right now, but I’ll power through it” and doing what has to be done to stay alive. So, if I wanted to have boring sex and get paid for it, eh…that’s my choice. I have options in life.

But yet…I frequently encounter women I admire, smart women, capable women, women who are well-educated, etc who are around my age…who give me parameters that have to be met for sex to be valid. For sex to be something that isn’t about the patriarchy. Some things I agree with – like consent – but others, like a loving environment….not so much. I’ve had in-love sex. It’s fantastic. I have also had raunch, kinky, not-remotely-in-love sex with men who I don’t even for sure know their names…and that’s also fantastic. But different.

If you did away with the patriarchy and religion, there would be zero reason why we’d raise an eyebrow at any adult’s safe sexual choices, whether or not money was involved, as long as everyone involved was able to and did consent. Yet those trying to smash the patriarchy often perpetuate it by saying there is a right and a wrong way to have sex.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a shit on feminists post. It is more a post about what many feminists unquestionably accept – that only men control sex outside of a loving relationship.  And in doing that, women like me are infantilized. And that has scary implications.

 

Trump Hat Guy is back…

Ok, admittedly when I said I was done, I was, in my mind, not necessarily forever done. More just, done with not knowing wtf was going on.  And tired of it. Unlike the other guy I got fed up with the same day, who scared me b/c of his anger, THG just was, well, a 27 yr old guy – poor communicator (oh, and last night I learned he’s, um, 26. I don’t know why I thought 27).

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from him… “This sucks”. My response was that it did.  But I don’t have the patience to sit around and wonder if he’s going to text back or show up. That I still liked him, but I’m at a stage in my life where I’m just done with those kinds of games and how they fuck with my head.

I was with a friend and she was asking what I wanted when I responded. I said I didn’t really have an end game other than buying into the Dan Savage theory that you should leave them better than you found them when you’re the older/more experienced person. And I’m clearly stating what I can’t deal with and not trying to hurt him.  So he responded that he likes me too.  And asked if I was free…which I wasn’t (was going to a wedding as my friend’s +1).  Anyway, we had a few more texts that he’s not trying to play games (and I truly didn’t think he was…I just thought he was young, hadn’t learned good communication skills and probably was used to being bitched at whenever something wasn’t perfect, rather than accepting that life isn’t always perfect).  So, I agreed that after I went to the wedding, I would text him.

So I did, and this became sort of a situation of me deciding to trust him, be annoyed, but still keep in mind I wanted to see him. I left the wedding around 10 and told him I was on my way home. He said he was out in a neighborhood relatively close to me with his brother and would come over.  Then I learned that getting his brother to leave the bar was kind of an issue (and, to be fair, I can’t judge this too harshly – his brother has some special needs).  And apparently, unbeknownst to me, THG’s brother insisted that he get driven to get dropped off at some chick’s place 1/2 hour away or more.  Apparently this was sort of a fluid situation and wasn’t the original plan. But, of course, he doesn’t do a good job communicating with me. So, he showed up nearly an hour after he said he would (sigh). He did explain. And we talked about that I just needed explanations most of the times, and silence makes me worse.  And he acknowledged he’s terrible with time and with communication (no surprise), but said he would work on it.

And, I let him stay over. Sex wasn’t as crazy as the past times, but it was still excellent (I was tired).  We have great chemistry and I just like touching him. I didn’t freak out like I did when the other guy stayed over. But I did have trouble falling asleep. I think since I had been up past my usual bedtime, it was made worse. And then I started thinking about sleep, which doesn’t help. Eventually I took a sleeping pill. That knocked me out. But I never felt panicky or wanted him gone. I just wanted to sleep. And I wasn’t annoyed by him in the morning (a big deal to me…I get very annoyed when I wake up and someone is there).

So, we’ll see. He told me he predicted in a month, we’ll be hanging out a few times a week. But we both agreed we suck at relationships, so we’re not going to worry about that.  I guess THG is back…we’ll see how long this lasts.