With the end of times coming, might as well have as much fun as possible

Ok, this headline is a bit melodramatic. But as someone who has studied the start of many genocides, it does feel like the US is brewing for something horrendous.  How it will play out is in doubt. The fact that there is systematic dehumanization of real people though is definitely going on. And I’m scared. But sex is still a great escape for me.

It’s a weird dichotomy…the part that just needs an escape sometimes and the part that knows how bad things are now. So last week was a week of profound fear and stress for me as I watched so much of our system that protects vulnerable continue to be destroyed.

Last week, I was supposed to see Yummy Guy on Wednesday, but he cancelled last minute. I was bummed, but I guess we have enough history that I don’t think he ever intentionally tries to be an ass. And he apologized. But I had canceled Kinky Guy to see Yummy Guy (I really enjoy both, but YG is just…YG. Time with him is special, even if the sex with KG may be more technically on point).

I had plans Friday with a new guy who seemed to have potential…an artist who actually was pragmatic in his outlook. So I met The Artist at a bar near me and was…not sure how I felt. He truly is sweet and he has a nice face and it was just one of those situations where I decided to flirt and see if I could get some feelings going. Eventually he paid the bill and I decided to invite him back. I was curious and figured there was one way to find out what the chemistry really was.

So, long story short (because it definitely lasted awhile), he went down on me, I did virtually nothing to him, and that was the only sex we had. It was great tho. I felt slightly bad that I did nothing to him and he went down on me and paid for drinks…but. Eh. He seemed into it and I enjoyed it.

Sunday, Kinky Guy messaged saying he was back in town from a couple days away and he was horny…fortunately, I was horny too, so I invited him over. This time he wanted to pretend he was the dog walker walking in on me tied up from a burglar and that he would save me. So I handcuffed myself and left the door open. And…sex was great.  He really knows what he’s doing and is a lot of fun.

That brings us to Monday and I was sort of wondering what was going on with YG, so I messaged him. Which lead to him coming over…and while the sex with KG is more technically great, with YG there is just this connection where every minute with him is sensual and comfortable. He’s been fucking my ass more and even that is getting better and better (or easier is maybe a better way of saying it – it was always good with him, but I would get nervous and worry it wouldn’t be good. Now I’m not nervous). My favorite part with YG is that we can chat after sex and that is as good as the sex. He’s funny and recognizes his white male privilege and never panders. It’s hot.

Finally…yesterday, the 23 (now 24) year old guy I had met back in April messaged.  I’d seen him once since the first time and the sex was really good. So he’s improving and moving up the list n terms of my enjoyment. So I invited him over. And again, the sex was great. He’s really coming around to understanding my body, though when he tried to fuck my ass, that was a hard pass on my part (his dick is pretty huge and he doesn’t take things slowly).

So now…I’m tried to decide if I invite this guy over I’ve been messaging forever. And I kinda feel sexed out for a bit. Shocking. But I do. But I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself.