3 “dates” in less than 8 hours and no sex…

Yesterday’s dates started with meeting up with a guy I’ve been talking to for 2+ years and have never met. Nothing happened to not meet, we’d just be chatting and lose touch. And he seemed mostly into group situations and I didn’t know if he even liked sex outside of that…but somehow we kept ending up chatting some more and this week he said “I like our chats. I hope I can fuck you after some hot guy cums in you, but either way we should be friends”…which was kinda cool. It’s nice when a super kinky guy can see me as a person who has more to offer than just an open mind and open legs. So yesterday (finally) we met. Prior to meeting, he warned me he was in no shape to fuck (which I did appreciate. A good way not to take it personally is to hear in advance fucking is off the table). I knew he’d been up all night in some crazy sex situation, so I wasn’t surprised.

So we just met for coffee…and winded up talking for almost 3 hours before he had to leave because he hadn’t eaten all day and I was about to burst bc I needed to pee so badly (but our conversation had been so easy and flowing, that I didn’t want to take a break in it). First off, he was hot. No surprise bc a guy who isn’t hot probably doesn’t get the opportunity to be a stunt stud for couples and get invited into orgies, etc. But he was attractive. Even with him feeling like shit and barely sleeping, hot. But we just could go from talking about politics to work to group sex and rape culture and how racist white people are and how gross it is…It was just easy.  So I was feeling good about the day when we left. I messaged later and he responded right away, so I think we’ll hook up sometime and hopefully be friends too.

Then I went to my date that night…the guy looked quite a bit heavier than in his pics. Which might have been ok (it is January), but he was clearly already drunk. I was 2 min late to the date, so there was really no excuse to already be drunk. He was slurring his words and gesturing in that wide way drunk people do.  But I stuck it out for a drink. He was clearly into me. Indeed, he was drunk enough to do a complete head to toe intake of me when I walked in. And he started getting touchy feely right away. Which I would have enjoyed if I liked him. But I didn’t.

So as I was finishing up my drink, I was thinking through the scenarios. Should I reject him in the bar? Go outside and make it clear he wasn’t coming home with me…and when I thought about the latter scenario, I had this feeling that he might not take it well and might follow me or hurt me. I decided to listen to my instincts and told him in the bar that I wasn’t feeling chemistry and that I was happy to pick up the tab since he’d come to my neighborhood and he didn’t need to stick around to wait for it. So he asked if it was ok if he left. And I said he could. He was out of their in a split second.

As I was waiting to pay, I got a message from this other guy who had looked super hot in pics and he was leaving dinner. So, since I was up, I was like “yes, let’s meet”. Since it was cold and as he was messaging, I had decided to leave the bar, I said he could just come over and we could see.

He texted as he was pulling up so I went to the building door to let him in and my one dog came with me…the look on this guy’s face was utter contempt for my dog. I knew then that unless his attitude dramatically changed, nothing would happen.

And nope. He was a persnickety (not that hot) dud. He kept complaining about my pets (like, wtf, they’re my pets, we aren’t doing this to date. Just fuck if all goes well. Who cares that I have pets?). And that my place was a mess (again, who cares. I am in the middle of major reorganization and stuff is out. If that is something you’re worried about at 11:30, that’s just weird). So I said there was no chemistry and we didn’t need to pretend there was. He then proceeded to tell me all the reasons he didn’t want to fuck me. Like…why do I care that a scrawny guy who isn’t hot and has a stick up his ass in a not fun way doesn’t want to fuck me?

So then…he demanded I pay for an uber! I did, but jesus. Part of the cost of dating is transportation. I just wanted to get rid of him though and for $6, I could. And that was worth it. As he was leaving he was whining some more. God. What a turd.

So, tonight trying to decide if I want to meet this guy who I have been talking to awhile who is in town. Or see if another guy is available. Or just stay home.

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6 thoughts on “3 “dates” in less than 8 hours and no sex…

    1. I just wanted him GONE. I’ve encountered a few guys like him. Actually, the last time I met a guy like that, he recognized his own issues and he introduced me to a friend the next day who was really hot and fun. This guy was too enamored with himself to realize he was the one with the issue (look, I get it. If we were dating, I see how someone might decide they can’t date someone with pets…but for sex???)

      Liked by 1 person

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