“I’m done”

No…not with my slutty dating ways. Or at least I hope I’m not done with that.  But with a couple of the guys I’ve been keeping in my rotation options. Yesterday was a purging of sorts.

First is the guy who spent the night a couple weeks ago. I noticed that I’ve been feeling less enamored with him. I didn’t know if it was anything in particular, or just feeling like he wanted more than me or what. But I was certainly willing to keep him around in theory. He came over last Tuesday before I had something to do, grabbed dinner. It was quick and fine. I mean, most 27 yr old guys would use the 50 minutes to fuck me, but he seemed nervous about that. So…ok. Fine.

I’ve had a cold and with that, a chronic issue (typically controlled in me) has come up. And it is frustrating to me and brings me back to the time in my life before it was diagnosed where I felt truly hopeless. So I am admittedly not in the best place in my emotional life.  He was asking how I was feeling, and I explained all this. Told him about the condition, what it was called, how it was normally treated. Now, mind you, as far as I can tell, there are only 2 specialists in the US that diagnose this condition and I have mentioned it to countless medical professionals and no one else has heard of it.  His response to me was a joke about making me go paleo to cure it.

I’m a vegetarian, closer to vegan. I have done a few food elimination diets that were hard core. I have done food sensitive (not just allergy) testing. I know a lot about what diet works for me. And I also know that a lot of the hype around Paleo isn’t backed up by science. So my response (internally) to that text as “FUCK OFF. I FEEL LIKE CRAP, I’M DEPRESSED, AND YOU’RE SUGGESTING I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I’VE DONE TO GET THIS UNDER CONTROL.”

I sent a nicer version of that, saying maybe it’s not a good idea to comment on someone’s chronic condition when you don’t know what it is and what they have done to try to get it under control and that’s the fastest way to piss me off.

I guess I could have been nicer, but I really feel like everyone should be smart enough to tread lightly when it comes to commenting on someone’s medical situation with anything more than “I’m sorry” or “that sounds hard” or whatever. His response was a rant, implying he knows all about the condition (um, no he doesn’t. he’s making that shit up), and how if I don’t like him, don’t text him, and maybe I should just block him. blah blah blah. So I deleted his messages. And I have no interested in contacting him back.

Then the guy I was supposed to go out with last night (was going to see Saturday, but had to cancel due to my cold) cancelled last night b/c of family emergency stuff (that sounds legit).  So I told Trump Hat Guy he could come over if he was around.  Around 8:15, he texts, asks if he can come over. I asked timing – he said an hour, tops.  So I said he could. 9:15 comes around, nothing. So I ask him what’s up by text. Nothing. Another 15-20 min, I send a “?”. Then 20 min later, I just text him and say “I had fun when we hung out, but I’m done. Good luck.”  Nothing since then. I don’t think he was fucking with me when he said he would come over. My guess is that either something work related or other woman related came up and he didn’t feel like he could text me and say that. Which, if he had, I would have been annoyed, but ok with it.  But the no text ain’t a game I’m playing anymore. I did a bit with him b/c the chemistry and sex was so good. But nope. I mean, to be fair, I didn’t delete him off my phone and if I had a situation where he might be a perfect 3rd, I’d probably ask. But, despite actually kind of liking him, I don’t play games. I’m straightforward. You’re either straightforward with me or you’re not. I have no energy for the games.

So, I booted the two guys who I would consider letting stay over and am back to just new guys or guys who I know wouldn’t stay over. That’s fine. It’s easier that way.

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2 thoughts on ““I’m done”

  1. Been there, done that! I was seeing someone at one point (need to post this one eventually) that kept me waiting around saying he was “on his way” for hours. It was such a mind fuck, until I finally said buh-bye!

    Liked by 1 person

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