So I had one night in Sexy Geek Guy’s city for work…last time I was in his city, he was out of town the night I had in town. And the time before, we were supposed to meet up, but he got caught up working until the wee hours of the morning (he’s one of those start up guys who works crazy hours). So, I’ll be honest, even when he said he would be around, I was skeptical about meeting up. I wanted to, but I have learned to accept that maybe reliability (esp when he has work stuff going on) is not his strong suit (and perhaps is part of why he’s single, given that he really is a smart, fun, good guy. Obv being single also can be a choice, as it is for me, but I do wonder sometimes what a person has going on).
I messaged him around 11 am and asked if we were still on for the night…and waited…and waited. Finally, around 5pm, he messaged back with a “YES!” But he still had some conference calls to do. Ok, fine. I kept working, as I had stuff to do (I should have gone for a run, alas…). And at about 7, he messages again to say that he is close to being done with stuff. And then another hour goes by. So finally around 8, I message and say that I’m starving and was thinking about grabbing some food. He said he wasn’t done, but he would just finish later and he’d come meet me and we’d grab dinner. So…yay! Finally, I feel like he won’t bail. So maybe an hour later we finally meet up and go and grab dinner. We got Korean food, which I’ve only had a few times…he has spent months in Korea. So he kind of took charge and ordered. I liked it. I think that move could annoy me with other guys. But he’s just very much an Alpha Male…despite being kind of scrawny and geeky. I like the confidence on him, but on another guy, it could seriously annoy me. We had a good conversation over dinner. A little awkward at first, since I hadn’t seen him since February. But then it became more relaxed. We have very different energies. He’s clearly a bit hyper and an extrovert. I am a bit more languid and an introvert. But we do seem to find an in between balance that works.
He apparently was stuffed from dinner…I was not (maybe that’s why he’s so skinny), so we went for a bit of a walk and headed back to my hotel room. And then he just wanted to cuddle at first and talk . I knew we would end up having sex, but given that our previous two times had been fairly sexual once we were past conversation stage, I was a little confused. But I do enjoy talking to him, like I said. And cuddling is ok :p
Once things were on, they were very very hot. He’s definitely an alpha sexually and I love it. Most guys who claim to be dominant, really aren’t. I think b/c I’m not a submissive person in life, they can’t transition from talking to me to pinning me down to fuck me, even though that’s what I like. And I say I like it. But he just does it. And each time, things have become a little rougher…and I like that. I encourage it. Now, if first meeting he had lightly choked me, I might not have felt comfortable. Now? I trust him. And he is just very very good at figuring out my body. The bed was absolutely soaked and I don’t know how many orgasms I had…and I don’t think I moved much at all. After, we talked for another hour or so until it was wayyyy too late. But it was great to see him.
I’ll be back in his city for work in another few weeks. A longer visit this time, but busier, so I don’t know if our schedules will align.
He’s definitely the type of partner who I think I could only enjoy non-monogamously. The sex is fantastic. Conversation is fantastic. He’s super interesting. Super smart…but he’s not super reliable and he is always later than he says he’ll be (by hours, often). These would be dealbreakers in a boyfriend. For a FWB? they are annoyances. But the fun outweighs the bad b/c basically the worst case scenario for me for seeing him is that I miss going for a run. Since I see him so rarely, this is an ok trade-off. And I realize I really like the guy in another city situation. I don’t have to talk to him about trying to see him…unless he’s in my city or I’m in his. If we go 3 months with nothing, I don’t think “oh, is he no longer an option?”…I just figure we haven’t been in the same city at the same time and that’s not surprising.