“You’re so lucky…”

Said to me in a message from a guy who hoped, I guess, to win me over by whining about how hard it is for him to get laid.  He’s recently separated (or claims to be) and also told me how successful and wealthy he is as part of his “I’m such a catch” thing.  And this was a very despondent “You’re so lucky…” Not jokey. Not teasing. Not even really envious about a specific area. It came across more like “You’re so lucky in life that you can have casual sex if you want it.”

Sure, getting laid pretty easily if one is a reasonably attractive woman open to casual sex .  But the whiny “no one will have sex with me and I have an amazing dick” woe-is-me is not only unattractive (If I had to pity fuck every guy who wanted to get laid and hadn’t been laid recently enough in his opinion, I’d never stop fucking…I don’t pity fuck and I can’t imagine many women do), but come-the-fuck-on.  You’re a white, successful, able-bodied guy with, by your own description, plenty of money.  Maybe I’m slightly ahead of you in the ease by which I can pull dick vs. your ability to pull pussy (though I doubt I’d be pulling much dick if I was that whiny and looking for pity fucks), but to just bemoan this one thing women can more easily land than men? If this guy had any chance at even meeting me, and he didn’t, he lost that chance by that “I want EVERYTHING in life to go exactly my way and it’s unfair if it doesn’t” attitude.

This got me thinking…how much of the republican war on easy access to contraception is about this attitude among men? That the one thing women can more easily get than men is casual sex. But they won’t go for it if they are punished with STD/Is and pregnancy.

Now, I don’t want this to be a whine/rant about my own life. I’m extremely lucky. Successful, well-educated, good friends, great life…but I’ve had to deal with being raped, sexually assaulted, sexually harassed (many times) in the work place, and when I go out with a guy, I think about the likelihood that I might end up raped (again) or dead. I doubt this guy would be thinking about that if he had pussy potentially waiting for him.  And it is far less likely (though I admit it is possible) that he has been raped, sexually assaulted, or sexually harassed at work. So I don’t want to hear about how lucky I am as a woman because of this thing I have an edge at.

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