I’ve been asked this by some of the few friends I’ve told what I’m doing (that I’m not interested in a relationship, just FWBs).
The answer is quite simple (to me). There’s been no one I’ve really liked who is relationship material, so when I do crush on someone, I can enjoy it for what it is – a crush – especially since I have other men to get distracted by.
The even simpler answer is that is a conversation I’d have with someone, if and when it occurs that I like someone in a way where I’m not getting enough from FWBs. And we’d talk about what we both want and figure it out from there.
It’s interesting to me that neither of these seem satisfying as answers.
Is it because we’re told that we’re not really adults until we fall in love and are in a monogamous relationship? Is it because that being single is so unsatisfying? Is it because rom coms always have the strong female being whisked off her feet in some manner?
I feel like it’s more acceptable for someone to say “I will plan my life around the idea of meeting someone (who I haven’t met) and falling in love and being with them forever” than it is to say “I like my life as it is now. I see no compelling reason to change it.” And why is that? Why is it more acceptable to chase the “maybe” than it is to embrace the actual?
So, the better question is, what happens if I decide I want to change my priorities?
Answer…I’ll change them.