Gahh. I was asked that today by a 26 year old (who also asked if I was a MILF, but I don’t think being a mom to dogs and cats counts for the “Mom” part of MILF…)
So, am I cougar? Most of the guys I have had sex with this year have been more than 5 years younger. Ok. Let’s be real. Most have been 10 years or more younger. There was a 43 year old. And I see a fellow 42 yr old occasionally. But it seems like my sweet spot is 30-32.
So, does that make me a Cougar? I don’t seek out men who are younger because they are younger. I like men who interest me. Who would rather go for a hike than spend a day on the golf course; who are more likely to ride a bike than own a BMW (I swear, nothing is a libido killer for me than a guy pulling his clubs out of the trunk of his beemer). Physical attraction is also important to me and it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that younger men tend to have better bodies. And, for whatever reason, I have lots of selection in the younger guy realm…being with an older woman has somehow become goal-worthy.
I’ve been told that women in their 40s are:
- confident (with respect to their body and their sexuality)
- low drama
And certainly guys in their 20s and early 30s are typically at least:
- low drama
(experienced is hit or miss)
So I guess it makes sense that 40something-year-old women and much younger men make a good sexual pairing. And I certainly appreciate that simplicity.
But does that make me a Cougar? ugh. I think of a Cougar as one who intentionally preys on the innocence of a younger guy. Or needs the affirmation of a younger guy. And there is nothing less appealing to me than innocence in a man. And, sure, it is fantastic to have one’s ass complimented by a 26 year old. Definitely. But it would be almost as good to hear that from a 40-something-year-old (though maybe not as “this is a compliment I will cherish forever, even if you forget you made it”).
I guess if it helps one to order their universe to consider me to be a Cougar, I’ll deal with the designation. But I still reject the premise that age difference alone makes me a Cougar.